I am just Me. Am I?

Thursday, July 08, 2004


i just spent e last hr surfing sites abt dieting.

I'm glad I did. Cos' I chanced upon this website that told me all about the myths of dieting and basically took my mind off expensive slimming pills and products which probably wouldn't work and yeah...made me face a few hard truths which I never really knew.

The only one and sure way of dieting is via food control.

Which means...I probably won't be able to slim down in the near future.

I can also see how come I managed to lose and gain weight within short periods ever since I returned from China. (Yeah, twin is right. China is a happy place cos' nobody really cared how fat I became). But it's different in Spore. I'm constantly under pressure that i'm too fat. I know I am.

1) Exercising will prolong my life, made me healthier and give me more energy...but it won't help me lose weight without a weight-loss diet plan = i've gotta watch and control what I eat if I wanna slim down.

2) I can eat like a bird yet be just as fat cos' of the type of food aka calories I consume. (explains many things)

I thought back on that time I was dieting before my birthday.

Breakfast: 1 slice of bread with no butter plus whatever is there (egg/sausage/blah)

Lunch: Fruits

Dinner: 2 servings of vege and either one meat or sidedish.

It's a healthy diet. No wonder I lost weight even without exercise. Albeit momentarily.

Then I thought back of my JC days. Besides for the 3-day Detox diet which I FAITHFULLY stuck to every week, plus the everyday exercise plus the swearing off of choc, sweets, ice-cream, fried food's no wonder i put off 7kgs after half a yr...

Y didn't I stick to that "healthy lifestyle" which I so painstakingly adhere to for so long??

Y oh y?

But point lamenting.

Time to start.

All over again.

Shuhui, you can do it!

Paid for doing nothing

That's what I've been doing today.

I only faxed a document.

That's all...the rest of the day...was spend surfing and I just typed a draft essay. I've decided. I wanna try out for NCS! I wanna go Shanghai for internship. Though I'm not sure if I'll be selected, or if I'll be given the ABF award even after NCS accepts me. But I'll still try. Haven't felt so "confident" of myself for quite a long time.

Z told me abt my strengths. She said I could definitely do marketing because of my strength in my languages. I'm not GREAT but at least i'm good enough. She said I could even do sales...IF I can learn to keep my moodswings to myself.'s amazing...even she knows that I write my feelings on my face. Guess it's really pretty obvious.

By the way, i'm officially known as Miss round face. Am super fat now. My mum is only 2 kg away from me. Am up to my "MAX" once more.

But Z's really nice. She said I've got a very sweet smile cos' I've got a dimple.

Hope my fats on my face will not drown my dimple.


Wasted morning

My supervisor took leave off this morning.

And so...I tried very hard to edit the brochure (which I've always complained to have no time for) but in the end I gave up even without trying too hard.

I'm incorrigible, i'm horrible, i'm terrible.

So I ended up surfing useless websites. Re-read information abt China, checked out C.C courses online, read yahoogroups. Finally...Friendster.

I really shouldn't go there anymore. Esp. to check on latest happenings. Cos' I don't really want to know.

About the love life of others. Why can't I seem to move forward? Why am I always walking abt on the same spot?

Been watching korean drama. Beautiful days is like the FIRST korean drama whereby I hope the male and female lead Won't be together so that the poor younger bro can b with e woman he loves.

But then again, she doesn't love what's the point?

The korean show showing every mon to weds night is a weird show man.

But then again, love's weird isn't it?


I think...that's what love might be.

Went Jogging

Yeah...I went jogging last night, dunno like after how many long years...Before I left I told my mum i'll do 6 rounds, she laughed and said it'll be good if I can do 3.

How right she was. I practically died of this horrible stitch after 2. How weak right? Still...I pushed on. It took me REALLY long, like after some walking but eventually i JOGGED a total of 6 rounds.

Felt quite proud of myself actually. I didn't give up, though my knee kind of hurt too.

I gave up dieting once. I hope this time it'll stay with me FOREVER.

Like I can TOTALLY change my lifestyle.

I really hope.

When I could control my food intake, I refused to exercise. Now that I insist on climbing the stairs everyday and exercising at least twice a week...I simply refuse to control what I eat.

If this continues. I'll remain a FAT pig the rest of my least...e rest of my PRIME.

Got a shock when I saw my face in the mirror last night really. 3kgs is enough to kill. i've put on fats in so many places...i'm AMAZED at HOW I did it...


Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Hmm...putu mayam is good! the coconut very fresh!

the choc cake and cream eclair pales in comparison.

But...I'm not even hungry!


About GOD

Had a little chat with a few of my colleagues over lunch just now.

2 of them were christians and they asked abt my religion. Found out that I had none but they didn't refuse to talk to me just becos' of that. Instead, they just commented that there'll come a time in my life whereby things are so bad that I might have to turn to Him for solace.

I mean...not that all believers turn to Him just because they met some setbacks...but I guess it's true that I would have to go through SOMETHING in order to be convinced.

Then Z shared with us her personal experiences. How she used to be "Zi Bi", and that she could see "bad things", and that medicine and medium didn't help. But one day she prayed, accepted Jesus Christ into her heart then she miraculously recovered cos' she was overcomed by a feeling of peace and joy. She subsequently even had visions of Him and an Angel. Thereafter, the entire family converted.

How fascinating.

I do believe her. But I'm not prepared to be committed to a church.

I can't recall any visions. But it seems like my life has been going on a downhill eversince I felt st nicks.

I liked the kind of feeling whereby we had to pray each day before the day starts and esp. before every test or exam.

And I used to pray every day before I sleep...

Yeah...I do miss praying.

And if I do have an angel too.

Help me.

Spiderman 2

yes...sorry fwocers...I caught the movie last night...sitting at the 2nd seat from the cinema at Bishan. Can't believe I actually agreed but i'm glad that I caught the earlier show...cos' well, think I need more rest at home now. Had 2 cups of coffee today! But then might have been because I ate too much thus i'm sleepy...

Anyways, despite the neckache...i thought the movie was cool! I liked all the action but too bad being too close to the screen disabled me to look at all the action properly...cos' everything seems to be just flashing RIGHT IN FRONT of my eyes...can't seem to take in everything without feeling that my eyes are hurt by all the flashes so I actually closed my eyes for some parts of the spidey fighting octopus scenes...

But I liked it overall. Enjoyable experience...and it's always good to give the hero some recgonition.

I especially like this line:
There's a Hero in all of us.

I hope to find my hero again.


I was "brutely" removed from my workplace once again.

They set up a new desktop with this MEGA big flat screen at my work cubicle so I had to shift...

Sucks...dunno where I'll have to be tomorrow when YJ comes back.

But anyways, today I took a bus to science to da bao lunch. It's matter how much celery/carrot/apricot I ate...I was still hungry. N zoe was too lazy to go out and get lunch so I volunteered.

On the bus lots of "commencing" ppl boarded the bus. The guy sitting beside me was holding 2 bouquets of flowers and i din know y but I just had this urge to want to congratulate him...perhaps it's becos' the happiness of these graduating ppl rubbed off me.

On the way the guy was introducing parts of NUS to his parents who were sitting in front. When he mentioned the old Sheares Hall, I can't help but take a look at him. Then I was shocked. I know this guy...we did a group project in CH1101 before! Racked my brain for his name, plucked up enough courage to ask if he was called Yao Zhu...bwahah..he said no twice...errr...I was SO SO SO....embarrassed I quickly said I must have ren4 cuo4 ren2. Then he asked if I was Aiwei...I was"no." Then I said I think we took the same module before...

"oh, CH1101 right? What's your name?"


" changed quite alot!"

"must be the grew longer"

Then we started discussin abt where we're gg, he's gg to science to have lunch with his parents, I'm da baoing food back to office...

He asked if I was secretary for science club, I said no, i'm in Arts.

Den finally I couldn't bear it any more and said Congrats!

He asked how long more to my graduation? I said one more year...he said...yeah...soon it'll be ur turn!

Yeah...soon it'll be my dear friends...can buy me a bouquet of flowers on that day?

Think I'll be happy walking around with pink flowers...and a bunch of my good friends...=)

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Interesting Lunch time (relatively)

It's 5 mins to 2pm. As usual, I'm one of the few in the office besides another SA and 2 managers.

Took a bus down to Clementi for a walk today.

A walk literally cos' I had my lunch already (sponging off the leftovers from the synopiusm that caters breakfast, morning tea? and afternoon tea! ;P Bwahaha...honestly...I was supposed to be living off salads but they kept bringin pies, cakes and noodles up...I just can't resist! ;P

Didn't have much in mind to buy...and knowing me...once I START to buy it'll be quite alot...the thought of bringin big plastic bags back to office is so weird that I gave up that I just walked abt and realised how come the ppl in my office can find time to go down to Clementi for lunch...cos' it's REALLY near. And well, the people leave at about 12:40...coming back at ABOUT 2pm is more than wonder they could still go eat and do shopping! In fact, I just heard a few of them discussing where to go for lunch and they actually settled for Harbourfront! I'm sure those had a vehicle though!

Hmm...commencement started. The time of the year when you see alot of smartly dressed people either walking hand in hand with their other halves or surrounded by family.

I'm sure my family will be there for me next year...but my other half? When will I find him? Bwahaha...I recalled my friend saying that must get a boyfriend to take graduation photos with...that's quite's a very significant event! But how to just find a boyfriend like that?!?! Bwahaha...and actually, if i do take graduation photo with a guy...i think I would like to display the photo in my home in future which means I'd probably wanna marry this guy.

Wow...marriage is such a big word. Nay...not up to me to think abt it now.

My twin called me last night to felt like YEARS since I last chatted with a good friend on the phone like that. Have been relying too much on msn and email...

Communication is also like any other can actually lose the hang of it after a substantial period of "no usage"

No wonder I can't seem to be able to express myself in front of my friends anymore...

Had better start picking up effective communication skills all over again.

Monday, July 05, 2004


I had a bad nightmare on Sat. Consisted of my teeth breaking into halves and my mum giving me this REALLY tough scolding.

Been having terrible nightmares about me losing all my teeth and seems so real it's terrifying. Is it a premonition of some sort?!!? Sure hope not...


Finally got my pay! It's not much...but it's still money so I'm happy! S got promoted to "supervisor" status! I'm really happy for her cos' I think she's really pro as a salesperson! Somemore she's very nice! It was like deja vu cos' 1. She treated us to Breadtalk (unwittingly) and 2. I mentioned to a customer to talk to her cos' she's sort of our "supervisor" of the day...and guess what? She received news shortly after abt her promotion!

Though the pay increment is not substantial...but i guess it's the sense of recgonition that counts.

If only Edo promoted me then. I would have stayed on willingly for that miserly pay.


Met at F's house this time round for the script-writing. Her house is darn cool! Right behind Boon Keng mrt and it's a very well-kept flat! My mum would b happy to stay in such an environment! hit me that I'll never make a good wife. I'm SO future husband has either 1. tolerate that. 2. b willing to clear up after me...haha...where to find?

Btw, the script is still...ermm..not very substantial but I must say we tried. It's so hard not to be cliche, cheesy and yet protray the meaning properly. Our use of words seem so limited.

Completed the task at about 2pm. Had bee hoon by courtesy of F's mum...NICE! =) And then it's off to heartland mall for my fav weekly grocery shopping wif my mum n bro this time...den I prepared to go over to R's place so that she can fetch me to SY's party!

Wow....another rich girl in a huge house! She's SO SO lucky! Food was GOOD! esp the choc ice-cream puffs! I swore I popped at least 10 in my mouth..but err...some stuff very oily...scary.

Btw...the highlight MUST be the's PURE ice-cream cake from Haagen Daaz! It's the largest cake I've seen this year! It came in 2 huge boxes!! Must have been at least 10kg?! I dunno...but it's just pure macadamia must have cost 2 bombs! But yeah...felt happy just sitting around...talking to hostelites which I have not seen for like MONTHS...watching the silent tv...and yeah...well, heard the truth from someone's mouth.

He ALWAYS tells me when I get this time round..he also looked at me and asked,"did you put on weight?"

It's true, I admitted it but well, it still kind of sucks having told that in your face.

But my face becoming rounder is REALLY scary.

Wanted to go on a fruit diet today? But sigh...they brought leftovers back attempt.

But no more spidey outing with fwoc=can go for my C.C aerobics class...that's not too bad!

And I climbed the stairs last night! 1st step to losing weight! Jia you Shuhui!


I'm one hardworking girl man.

It's weird. My bosses are not around AGAIN for some reason or another. I could have gone Clementi...but mayb cos' it was rainin (In the morn) or whatever reason...I chose to stay behind...and now the office is empty...and i was still doing work!

Decided that I should use lunch hour to do something personally blatantly.

Should go type my script then...hmm...


Left after half a day at work to meet at yio chu kang for Scriptwriting. Butt almost died from the hard mrt seat from Clementi to YCK. All right...survived but was late...den we walked a long way to get to E's hse from e bus-stop...finally settled at abt 2-3pm...and well...started our dialouge writing.

E had 2 dogs and a cat in the house. The BIG unfriendly one supposedly likes nothing but cats! How peculiar! ;P And I like the smaller one! He's called Proffy if i'm not wrong. But he's got blue eyes cos' got liver problem. Poor soul.

Completed 4 scenes at abt close to 7pm...den we went for dinner...prata at jalan kayu! Finally went there after hearing so much abt it! But apparently we didn't go to the most famous one but the other shop was OK least not that many people.

I bought Sardine was FREAKIN big so obviously I couldn't finish it, and well, it didn't taste that good...for $5. BUT the was marvellous! It was when I saw this dinosaur that I realised that e fong seng one was just a pet! bwahaha....the milo powder was chocking! wonder it's $2.

Felt SUPER fat right after this more oily prata for me for another half a yr! I hope.

Euro 2004

Nope...I didn't watch it in the end. Wanted to go over to Nicki's and catch it together with some zwxh ppl but when I brought it up to my mum, she was initially very unhappy cos' I've got work the next day...

Thus, I decided not to go.

She softened up later on though...still I decided to come home.

I'm glad I did. Woke up feeling SO SO tired this morn. Wondered what will become of me if I actually went.

Think I'm old man.

Btw...Greece won. Arrgh, I should have placed my bets! Was thinkin dat this yr a really weird yr full of "black horses".

Asked my brother who he thought might win, He said Portugal immediately so I said, Let's buy Greece!

It appears to me that the underdogs will always win.

And I was right! Arrgh...