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I am just Me. Am I?

Friday, August 27, 2004

After a tiring day...it was nice to come back and read something so meaningful...thanks to Fangyi!

I so must share it here...so here it is!


The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but

shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,

but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and

smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees

but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more

problems, more medicine, but less wellness.




We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,

drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too

>little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our

possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and

hate too often.



We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to

life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but

have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer

space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom,

but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but

accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more

computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but

we communicate less and less.



These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small

character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of

two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days
of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night

stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to

quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and

nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to

you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to

just hit delete.



Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going

to be around forever.



Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because

that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.



Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the

only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.



Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but

most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes

from deep inside of you.



Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will

not be there again.



Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious

thoughts in your mind.



AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

but by the moments that

take our breath away.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Mixed feelings

This hasn't been exactly the best week of my life. With too many things on my mind. Tutorials, scary math, online air ticket booking, ibg trainings, work, interview, and him leaving.

The birdshit so din help. (will elaborate on birdshit story later)

Yeah...skipped my first lect...but finished my tut in the meantime. guess there's always a plus and minus to things.

Like how i missed out on soccer training (aka a golden opportunity to get to know e freshies and try to be an "active" A blker. But I got to meet him n friends once again b4 he leaves.

Didn't talk much as usual, ate alot alot of junk, but had fun watching him play wif my gd fren as always.

It's just nice to see him ard.

And i did one crazy thing. I went QB to cut my hair...for $10. I mean...it's not exactly CHEAP...and it's not like "pro" or anything. But i did it all the same.

Talked to K on my way back to block. Told him where I went. He asked if I will miss him. I think so...but he commented that it's in my eyes. That I still miss him.

Do I? I don't think so...

Whatever. haha...becoming shitified once again.

Should be thinking of my interview instead.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Depressed

I must admit that i'm slightly depressed recently.

The weekend hasn't been good. My shop lost a few hundreds from the cash register...sigh...which means like at least 2 days of my pay will be deducted.

2 days. That's like half of my entire month's pay? bwahah...best.

I didn't think too much abt it initially, was just hoping that it's the boss who took the money.

But apparently not. And I couldn't help but suspect...but no evidence...also no use...I think the most innocent ppl are me and YR..cos' it'll be deducted from our pay...haha...we were even commenting that it'll be good if we were the ones who "stole" from the cashier...den at least we'll "earn". SIGH...why should ppl b honest?

Sun was like BORING. I mean...the crowd significantly lesser...I tried reading my financial notes and tried the questions...damn. I must be STUPID. or at least...that was how I felt lah.

Rushed back to KR Mon morn...but cos' I took the bus...(bought bus concession some more! am i a hostelite?!?!) I couldn't make it back in time for breakfast...rushed to my First tut of the week..was pretty scared at first...but it turned out ok! It was a com lab lesson...only have to follow instructions..so not too bad.

Came back, packed my laptop, went to work...returned to my room with the heavy heavy laptop cos' I forgot to take the taxi receipt.

Came back at about 4pm...was damn damn tired...but had to go out again...to shop for HY's present and meet up for dinner.

But boy was I happy to see all of them. Bought something nice and it was a good buy! Plus we had a nice dinner at Just Noodles, a Newly opened restaurant which offers good service! And yeah...we had alot of fun taking photos, and laughing...and teasing, listening to stories...and discussing human anatomy.

It's amazing what we have "progressed" to discuss about...Love, Breasts and Spermicides...haha...

But actually the whole time...one thought kept recurring.

Shuhui, you're really the ONLY one amongst ALL your friends...who's still FAT.

Honestly. The girls i know are Already slim..becoming slimmer...yet insisting that they've put on weight.

Yeah...perhaps they have...but to me they all looked like they've lost weight.

SO what am I doing?

I dunno...wish I do some times...haha...

Better be sleeping...gotta wake up and do my tutorial within 2 hrs.

Kind of impossible...but Guess i'll just have to try.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Lost

It's so easy to lose sight of myself. Esp. for someone like me.

Just when I thought...I was a loser and nobody would care about me in hall...I got back one day a few weeks ago to find a postcard n timeout bar from my neighbour at my door. Plus a bag with the Orientation T-shirt n stuff.

I was elated. Of cos' I did nothing to deserve e orientation stuff...but at least...someone remembered me.

Then Rag came, reignited the love I had for KR in me.

But circumstances and the fact that I don't like sporting...made me a phantom in every sense. UNTIL someone made this ridiculous comment in the lift one day.

Blk Head.

I was terrified. Glad that he asked me to consider. Though it probably meant that no one else wanted to take up that role for the moment...albeit desperate, i'm actually glad he thought of me.

But impossible lah. Nobody knows who I am. The freshies esp. And i dun share the same kind of "relationship" wif e blk like my neighbours do. It'll not do for someone like me to become blk head. I did think of blk comm. but no pt for a final yr like me.

yeah...i'm lost. with working, homework and whatever I haven't been catching up in school...yet still trying to plan and attend so many "gatherings".

Shuhui ah Shuhui. Focus.

And listen to Aili's advice.