Packing and unpacking

Finally...I've got a day at home with nothing much to do...so...I did some packing.

Looked through a pile of papers which my mum was planning to throw away.

There were scripts of all the plays I was involved in CLDDs in St Nicks. PUN camp file. Scripts of my class assembly skit even, letters, contact lists...interview comments...my past essays and "zhou jis".

I wish...that I was young again.

I realised that I haven't changed much really. I'm still as "grumbly" and "sad" as before! Most of my "zhou jis" were on friends and friendship...about how I cherish them and how I'm not sure if it will last and how my father objects to me spending time and all.

But there IS one big great difference. I used to spend so much time with all my friends. Going out, talking on the phone, writing letters and notes. I found some letters from "angels" i didn't know i had! I was sad, I was uncertained, but I complained alot to my friends...and they helped me out by consoling me!

But what has became of me now? I haven't chatted on the phone for...maybe years? No one now knows about my daily happenings and feelings except for my mum maybe? When I meet up with my SN friends, I dunno 9/10 of the people or the things they are talking about cos' the majority were in different JCs and different unis/halls. No one has asked me out the past 2 weeks. I was stuck at home on a public hols though I really wanna shop but no one was free. I didn't know who to ask too...and I watch movies/go shopping alone now.

Yes I save alot of time...but where are my friends?

Is that the reason why I've become even more irritating and even more "miserable" then before?

Cos' I dunno who are the people in my life anymore?

Or is it...all just part of growing up? This drifting apart?

Or am I not putting in enough effort?

What should I do? I think I've lost all my knack for communicating! I dunno what to say when I'm with my colleagues. But I used to be such a chatterbox! I always liked to be busy! To be going out frequently...to be on the "go"!

The people I knew all thought that I was extremely popular. Yes my msn list is almost full. But what for when I can leave it on for one day yet talk to no one? The same goes for my icq list.

I think i received 4 xmas sms well-wishes and only 1 xmas card.

I no longer receive new year well-wishes.

What's wrong? Where have all my smiles gone?

Am I destined to be alone? I'm starting to feel more and more lonely.

I think I really am growing old.

I miss SN, I miss Hwachong and the many many many activites I used to take part in.

I miss KR too.

I miss the old, smiley, happy, bubbly, and "active" me.

Where are you?

My week at work

It has been a good week. Haha...at least I would like to think that it is.

Finally met my manager on Monday. Haha...what a shock. He didn't turn out like what I thought he would be. He's got shoulder-length (aka LONG hair)! Yikes! And he behaves like a Ah Beng. It's erm...okay...i'm not put off but I would say that all wasn't expected. Lunch was at Tri-con. The place at CPF building with Pasta Mania, Wrappamania and Vietro all in one. The parent company owns it. So our GMs treated us but I didn't know so I ordered the cheapest wrap. Haha...it's actually quite filling! But I wld recommend eating the brownie there...cos' it's relatively affordable ($2.50) though the ice-cream portion was small, the brownie was warm and nice! Rushed down to town to trim my eyebrows then went back to KR. Stayed over at Rs rm that night...it was so nice having someone to chit chat with before sleeping!

Everyone was in a relative frenzy cos' Tues was the Corp Plan day when the entire team, incl. all the regional managers and the directors. It was truly an eye-opener cos' it's the first time I finally realised what kind of sales our company is currently dealing with, the difficulties and the forecasted numbers. What's even more impressive is that our directors are indeed extraordinary. A cld tell by looking at the huge numbers that the percentage was wrong, or he could remember the numbers from a previous slide and point out that the calculations might be wrong. My gosh. no wonder he's the boss, the senstivitiy towards numbers and money! haha...Lunch was Japanese Pizza! Oiishi. It's quite a change fr the normal pizzas but i think what really left an impression on me was the soba salad and the sauce...nice! The meeting officially ended at about 7 plus then off the lot of us went to Straits Kitchen at Hyatt for a buffet dinner. Hmm...I must say that some of the food tastes pretty good...e.g. the Hokkien Mee and the red bean, sesame ice-cream...but overall...i would say that $30++ for a local fare buffet dinner doesn't sound all that worth it...plus the drinks...exhorbitant! $9 for a milkshake!? Lucky it was on the company!

Weds was another day of "conference". This time it was about market segmentation and branding and stuff like that. So we managed to have Pizza hut this time round. Pizza hut's wings are still THE BEST. The achievement of the day was probably the fact that I was praised for the notes I compiled for the meeting! Yeah...Thanks N for all the "trainin" whilst I was secretary for Fwoc!

Thurs was yet another busy day with lots of meetings! We were introduced to a new product which we were supposed to market...and China was expected to bring in US$100,000! My gosh...My manager nodded readily...I sure hope he's truly confident! The office came together for dinner at Baos & Buns at Scotts (which was opened by an ex-employee). I must say that the concept is rather interesting! It's like a "chinese burger" cos' the buns are like the steamed mantou kind! And I heard that the beef rendang is good! I personally liked the cold tofu &the wings..it's quite interesting. After dinner was drinks at Thumper at Goodwood Park Hotel. Wow..the places the working ppl go are really different! The crowd is mainly the executives I guessed...but we were kind of like "hiding" in a corner and chit-chatting abt anything under the sun. The funniest thing is that ppl started leaving at about 10pm so some of us left for Cosi Cafe outside Scotts for another round of drinks such as coke/coffee and more fries and wings. My gosh. What a "healthy" lifestyle. My silly manager started telling us more about his "fav" client in China and I almost died laughing...But it's good cos' we finally communicated and he said that he thinks that it's impt that I'll have fun over in China since I'm only on a 1-yr stint...and he was nice cos' he said he'll let me try my hands on all 3 tasks (Selling V-Kool, Nanolux and the Archi component), then let me decide which one I would prefer to cont. working on. He hopes that I'll learn things...and he told me that he'll gladly write a nice recommendation letter for me at the end of it all...but most imptly, he told me that I must tell him if I feel like i'm overworked.

Good..this seems like a promising working relationship that's open. But he also prepared me for the uncertainty and chaos that's bound to greet me when i'm over there...it's ok i guess. All these will be part of my character strengthening process. I just hope that I can learn to be alot more confident!

Looking forward I guess...Jia you jia you shuhui!