"Envy is an insult to oneself." -Yevgeny Yevtushenko

I saw this quote while reading one of my friend's online diary. It's amazing how much they think, how through and how well they can expresses themselves. I feel as if i'm learning from them always.

See, I'm precisely committing the same mistakes. I don't deny that i am envious of them. But then again, i question myself. "Why? Since i know that though i'm learning from them...there are others who learn from me too! Probably not always, probably not from the facade i've been known to spot -a Bimbo?!?" In any case, i know there's worth in me, and that i don't need others to acknowledge that or to give me my worth.

My friends told me that upmteen times, when i get so upset and all about life.

My senior told me that i do think alot. I know but i don't accept.
How true. I listen, i take pleasure in learning from other's experience...but i hardly accept.
No i don't. There are many things which i can't come to terms with.

Why not?
I think it's precisely the fact that most of these questions don't have a right or wrong answer? That has kind of left me unwilling to think about them anymore.

When will i get the answers?
If i don't continue deluding myself and continue hoping. What else will keep me going?

I need a goal.
I do. It's just that they are no longer as high as they were before.
Cos my confidence is pretty much...gone.
Into hiding i hope. Not lost.
I hope.