I am just Me. Am I?

Friday, June 25, 2004

Windstruck, Lovestruck, Tearstruck

Before I recount what happened a few days back...I just HAVE to write something about this korean movie which I went to watch with PK last night.

I'm glad I went in without knowing exactly what to expect. The movie was HILARIOUS felt good knowing that the rest of the cinema is laughing heartily with you. But despite it being all silly, ridiculously funny and what was sweet. =)

Then halfway through the movie, there was a twist, a sad twist, Pk and I started to sob hopelessly. Just when we thought all was ok, something happened again! (All right, I know my entry sounds stupid but i'm trying hard to express myself without spoiling the show for those who haven't watched it yet!) And well, though there were times which I hoped the movie wasn't SO typical and Cheesy...I must admit that I was very touched. So much so that I cried till my eyes were poofy and red. I must have looked VERY miserable on my way back home but well...I really enjoyed the show! The ending was spectacular...bwahah...i guess the director must have achieved certain aims. Whatever, I feel that it's a "must-watch". Maybe for those who are looking for true love at least, or those silly girls who are easily moved. I know some guys thought the entire show to be very stupid (heard some boys commenting) but at least it's worth to go and laugh at the show!

This really reminds me of what WL said at a scriptwriting meeting a on Weds.

"Where can you find One True Love if you can't find it in stories?"

How true. Sad but true.

It's no wonder I like watching drama serials and reading love novels so much. You can't blame me. Cos' it's the only place I can find stories of beautiful albeit painful true love.


Oh! By the way, I just found out that Windstruck has this marvellous website! For those interested to find out more...

And i'm so gonna get my hands on the soundtrack...currently in love with this show still. Cos' it still puts a smile on my face when I think about it...the sweet stuff couples do for each other when they are in love...

I've been thinking about it recently...that should I ever fall in love again, I would actually hope...that either of us will pass on when we are so deeply in that the love won't be able to change...

What a morbid thought.

I better be getting rid of it.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

00S60 Gathering

Tuesday was Dumpling Festival! And it happened to be the day our Hwachong class gathered after a LONG LONG time!

It was rather amazing cos it was a pretty last meeting decision to get the class out for a buffet dinner.

Rice Table at International Building. I wanted to try the Indonesian Restaurant that a few of my friends were talking about so I dragged the entire class down with me.

I thought turn out would be pretty bad cos' most rejected me or didn't respond. So I booked 10 seats.

Rushed down to town after work, met Jiajun whom I realised I haven't met ever since JC!

That was like...more than 2 years ago!

Ultimately people starting to appear...From became 12...then 16!!! We had no choice but to squeeze like mad cos' the rest of the restaurant was fully booked!

to be cont...

All right, we had a really enjoyable dinner. At least I thought we did. Cos' it was nice to start dealing out commands, making alot of noise like we're a big group of silly students, laughing and joking and hitting my classmates who were making fun of me. It was nice. Really. To find out what my friends have been doing with their lives, what they WILL be doing (eg. study overseas) and just to meet up abit. It's funny how people doing the same majors never meet in school (eg. I never saw qiyan or huifen...they were questioning if I was a NUS student! ;P) It's just interesting.

It's been some time since I spoke so loudy and laugh so inhibitedly...

I love to meet up with makes me feel younger somehow.

We took quite a few photos in the restaurant and outside Isetan.

It's a wonderful feeling.

Good Taste

I think my mum has good taste.

Went shopping at OG on Sun. I was looking out for bags...I picked this bag with nice patterns (two girls woven onto the bag) but was rather indecisive...had to choose between colours (pink and green) and thought it to be a little too expensive.

But my mum thought it'll be a good buy.

I'm glad I took her advice.

I like my new green bag very much.

Thanks mum! =)


I think I'm beginning to think I'm rich. Cos' on Sunday when I went to Heartland Mall with all the newly open shops...I only had the intention of signing up for ONE spa treatment.

Then of course, the promoters won me over with freebies and good selling skills.

I signed up for three.

$214. My 4 days worth of pay.

Suddenly feel so guilty esp. cos' Clement commented that he admires those who will work for something months in advance.

Yes, I did work with the intention of saving up for my trip...but it looks like I won't be left with much money at the end of my work stint.

I'm terrible!

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

I've got alot to say

I've really got alot to say...about at least 5 entries brewing in mind...

But things usually dun happen the way they should.

It's been an hour since I stepped into the office. I've in mind things I wanna do...

But in the end I spent the first hour changing the template of my blog cos' I unknowingly violated some copyright stuff of the last template.'s half day I think I better start on my work now!

Jia you Shuhui!

Monday, June 21, 2004

It's amazing how fast moods change

My day got off to a bad start.

Woke up earlier than expected...walked abt...left home hoping to catch the 7:30 bus so that I'll reach the office earlier. Then I realised that I forgot my hp at the lift. Went back home to get it. Walked to the bus-stop..felt a read bad stomach ache brewing so was upset. Reached the bus-stop...just in time to see 151 leave...then suddenly realised that I forgot my key...MY KEY! I locked my laptop inside the cupboard and without the key=no laptop to use! I HAD to scold the F word.

But later I got a seat, sat down...took a few deep breaths...then started to "meditate" (which eventually led to a deep sleep) but well...I felt ok after that. My stomachache actually didn't act up! SO it wasn't that bad.

Then I decided...the com was too slow...couldn't stand I called home to see if my father can bring it over.

Lucky he could! =) Just had lunch with him. Wanted to treat him but he paid in the end. I bought something which he didn't like somemore. Ban Mian. But I finished mine clean. Added too much vinegar it was like vinegar noodles...but I like. SO obviously i'm like WAY TOO FULL right now. But feeling great! With my laptop in front of me and the right side of my ear-phones are working! It's a miracle! So happy...! ;P

Sunday, June 20, 2004

To be honest

I think I'll try to blog with more honesty. It is after all MY blog. I should be able to write what I want to write, right? (What a tongue twister but well)

Yes. We have all moved on, somehow with our lives, without one another.

Thus the strange unfamiliar feeling mixed with the sense of "familiarity". Elva's song came to mind, "The most familiar stranger". Yes.

I'm very proud of someone's achievements. That person will go on to lead a very exciting and fulfilling life...I can imagine the fun, the experiences, the kind of "luxury" the person will be able to lead in future cos' the future is secured...and bright and dazzling.

Though I'm proud, i'm sad to say I can't really share in it. Then it made me reflect on my own sad life.

Had a long chat with my mum today. Cos' we went out shopping once again. Target was shoes but eventually end up buying more clothes. My bro later joined us for dinner at Crystal Jade's La Mian Xiao Long Bao. Thus on the way back home, we engaged in an extensive talk about scholarships...and jobs.

I really felt "bu gan xin". My future shouldn't be like this.

It shouldn't be so bleak.

Yes. I made a mess out of my As. But my Os were great! I always believed I was meant for something great. But after my As...everything changed.

I only came clear with myself TODAY. after so many's only TODAY that I realised what happened.

I felt too "beaten". I fell from too great a height and was not strong enough to pick myself up again. I used to be one of the best amongst my friends. Yet I ended up the worst for As. There were so many other faculties to choose from. But I cowardly settled for FASS cos' I knew that was the easiest. I didn't really bother about scholarships, cos' i was lazy...and I thought I wouldn't have a chance.

So I didn't try. I just allowed myself to come up with so many ruin my future. Just like that.

I didn't even try to make it up by studying harder. I just told myself that I'm not smart. And that I should be satisfied with a pay of $1400 per mth.

Oh my gosh. Is that really me?

I dunno.

I wish I could just cry.

I dun want to be such a failure.

I dun want to be left behind when all else have progressed far beyond me.

No I don't want that...NO...

Can't seem to think of a title for my blogs lately. I guess it's cos' of the lack of a "theme"...or an extra strong feeling which I want to convey...but days seem so unfocused lately I think i'm losing aim.

Had the luxury of slacking at home the entire day today. Ate, watched tv, lazed...blah blah. Left home at about 5:30 to meet at clementi for dinner. Had carrot juice and chicken rice(nice)! Listened to my friends chit chat...

Reached UCC. Finally watched my first "one-man" show (actually should be 2-man). It was abstract. I can't say I understood exactly what it is all about. But I'm impressed. Really. It takes alot for the actor to be able to capture the audience's attention for so long. And honestly, I was never bored. She could act, sing and dance! and the entire set was just basically curtains and the prop, a wheelchair! Of cos there were special effects and all.

After the show there was even shuttle to city hall! We left for Kopitiam. I wanted Cheng Teng, but somehow decided on Longan Almond instead. Ended up being too sweet. Ate black black carrot cake! (Finally!), gyoza and yam paste too!

Listening to my friend's chit chat made me found out more about their lives. It's then that I realise how little intersection points I have with my friends...they seem to have so many common topics to talk about, be it other friends, work, or just some other activity...So i could only sit at one side and deduce how their lives had been...

it's a "luo4 mo4" feeling. But at least I kind of knew...abit...cos' through their Q&A...i found out some.

I dun think I should tink too much.

Oh...saw a pair of my friends holding hands after the show...LN commented about how envious she was. Then it dawned on me that I'm envious too. Just that I didn't wanna think about it.

How nice to have someone to send you home and to hold your hand...

I think I really have an inferior complex. Now when people stare at me, my immediate thought would be there's either something on my face or I might have wore my clothes the wrong way round...

Y? I've never been so insecure before.

Lots of people have commented on my nice hair.

I guess it must look the best so far. y can't my face and figure match up to it???

Sad ruldoph (with HUGE reddish pimple on the nose)