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I am just Me. Am I?

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Amazed...

Wow...this is like the second night in a row that well...I'm awake at unearthly hours! But at least this time it's better cos' I've finally finished my tutorial (albeit having no idea what I was doing towards the end), but I don't really care really. So long as I can submit in time...hmm...will be skipping the lecture tmr...but i guess I HAVE to...it's unbelievable that I'll be celebrating my birthday tmr...I feel so unprepared despite having "brain-stormed" for like AGES ago...but hey...alot will be impromptu...and I'm sure things would turn out ok...cos' so long as my friends are there...we can just self entertain! Bwahaha...(I HOPE)

ALL right...good luck to me...and good night to you my blog! (My computer will finally get a rest after being "on" for 3 whole days...hmm...)

Friday, March 19, 2004

Sad

I'm rather sad that my chatterbox seems to be under-utilized! Though I'm sure that my friends have been faithfully keeping up with all my nonsense but it seems like my entries left no "space" for comments...hmm...

Anyway, that's not the main point. I dunno what is. Haha...am still feeling quite incredible cos' I didn't sleep at all last night´╝üDid take an afternoon from 4 till 6 but I haven't slept since! Had FWOC supper from midnight till 2am (ALOT of food)! and have been up doing my essay ever since! Went straight for lecture after completing my essay cos' there's this quiz which i wanna take despite not having studied for it. Ended up dozing off uncontrollably during the lecture and even during the test...mind couldn't concentrate at all!

But now that I'm in my room...I don't feel so "dead"..then again...i take back my words...just dozed off in front of the com! hmm...though I still have a macro tutorial to pia...guess i can afford to squeeze in a nap right?? ahahaha

Zzzzz.....

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Addicted.

The blog is addictive, at least for now. Really wanna pen ALL my emotions down but I think my words are just not adequate to fully express myself.

Huang Cheng. Once a dream, then reality, but Now it's just full of memories. I saw so much "shadows" on VT's stage. Familiar settings, familiar dialouge, familiar looking faces, familiar actions and body languages, familiar voices. When all at the same time, they are all so unfamiliar.

I just don't know how to describe my emotions, the silly plot, "nonsensical dialouge", yet impressive display of ideas, commendable acting, interesting sets, lights and sounds...A lot of hard and heart work had been put into it. I believe the tears, and sweat and laughter will stay with everyone involved in Huang Cheng.

Just like how MY memories stayed with me. The friends I've made in the process, all the late nights, all our fears, happiness, sadness, inadequacy, stress....love, passion, hopelessness, joy, depression, burden, elation...and the list goes on and on.

I am thankful for all that. Hwachong, Huang Cheng, Xi Yan, Qiu, Zhong Wen Xue Hui.

I really enjoyed myself laughing my head off last night, and crying when I was touched by the "strength" of an "old" man.

It's probably not so bad growing up. The process was indeed memorable and I'm glad Huang Cheng was such a huge part in my JC life.

Xie Mu was basically "Great" last night! Keep the Huang Cheng fire burning my juniors! My "time" has passed...it's now your turn to experience Huang Cheng for yourself!

.......(Loss for words)

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Active tear glands

In contrary to Huan, I've been crying so much lately! Touched by the movies, Irritated by my surroundings, the pain I felt for a friend who's loved one has just departed.

She's so brave, she's remarkable. I'm sure she'll come out stronger than ever and things will be alot better for her in future.

In the face of death, my "troubles" seem so trival! My mountaineous readings are probably a mole-hill, my essays...so what? And my birthday party! Oh gosh, can't believe I'm actually stressed over that too? Had the weirdest dream that my party turned out really boring...

I'm weird man.

Time to return to my mole-hill...and to leave unhappy things behind.

One does not live forever, life is too short for so much unhappiness, we should be happy and learn to love those around us whilst we can.

To all my friends...

I LOVE YOU.

Monday, March 15, 2004

BIG Fish

I was truly inspired by this movie. Besides for making me cry till my eyes were red and swollen...it really set me thinking about life and the ways to live it! 2 great movies in a week! I feel so lucky! Too bad the upcoming deadlines and "mountaineous" readings are kind of dampening my spirits but what the heck! Let me indulge in this "short-lived happiness" first!

I dunno why but I kind of like to attach alot of meanings to what I see or hear nowadays. I think the whole idea is that...we can our lives as exciting as we want it to be! Comfort and luxury kills the "spirit" of most and thus losing the ability to "fight" and to "improve" and just to basically "move on". Like those townspeople living in Spectre! Keeping to a small world is not good for development! One should always have BIG aspirations and aim higher, go further! Travel, See more, Venture! TGoing to the most "dangerous" place would probably give the sweetest returns! We should never lack the courage to try out new things, test out new grounds and with perseverance, and the willingness to fight, one will always succeed.

Hence, We should never lose the ability to DREAM. And we should never lose sight of our dreams...

It does no harm to probably exaggerate things abit, makes life more interesting, remove the "ugly" side of things and emphasise on the "prettier" stuff, be happy, it'll in turn affect others too! We probably shouldn't always stick to the boring "truth". We can add spice to our lives and joy to the lives of others! Our experiences are unique and exciting in our own rights...and we should learn to appreciate that!

I so wish to be like Edward Bloom. I want to be a BIG fish...NOT a Fat Pig! ;P

Yeah, that'll be my aim for the year!