Thinking...

Just read an entry written by another friend which set me thinking...cos' he was contemplating ending his online diary once again...

Hong Ying once mentioned how she disliked blogs...felt like she was "infringing" on other's privacy. She had a point there when she mentioned that "what would a friend be? If all about oneself can be read online when almost everyone can gain access to it?"

True...but now that I've stopped making chit-chat phonecalls and stopped receiving them ever since uni..this is my only way out.

Only place where I can vent SOME of my frustrations and say almost everything I want...and allow my friends to read it and know abit more abt me...IF they do read.

At least I give them a choice, and myself a chance.

Felt like I was living in solitude after I entered Uni. My hall friends were the only ones I could turn to when I needed to cry. My bestest friends who had been with me throughout my sec and jc life are basically so far away...either in another uni or another cty, cos' of staying in hall without a phoneline, phonecalls are simply close to zero. I've kept quite a lot of emotions bottled up in me...not that it did me bad...but I feel that blog is a rather good option out.

Even if nobody read it...at least I've "written" it out.

It's so weird how most "acquaintances" think that I'm forever smiley and happy-go-lucky when in fact most of the time I think i'm some miserable fool full of self-pity. Those who live near me and bother to keep up with my msn nicks would know this other side of me...cos' my face just tells everyone that "I'm stressed, unhappy so bug off"! I bet strangers think i'm weird too...cos' i dun like looking ppl in the eye anymore...Serious lack of confidence...But then again..I can get all high and chatty at times too...

I wonder why? I know I can't be such a cold cold person, my friends loved me for being the cheery and friendly "bear" who's full of nonsense.

Lots of old friends always think that I'm "busy" cos' I've too many friends to attend to...to go out with and what not...but is that true?

Is that why I was left alone on my birthday? Cos' everyone else thought that someone was bound to ask me out?

Honestly, If I had been in a worse mood, I might have cried when my ex-crush asked me what was I doing eating dinner in Hall on my birthday.

But I decided not to dwell on that, and I won't allow myself to sink in self-pity once again. It's too stupid.

If I wanna have friends, I gotta make an effort too.

And I'll try...

ALl right! won't be dwelling on this. Yeah...exams are more impt!!

Jia you shuhui!