My love life???

Had been thinking...about my twin's old old posting regarding ppl always "haunting" her.

The cat high boy who bears a resemblance of my ex "appeared" in NUS one yr earlier than he should and I was surprised to see him in my SS module. Then I saw this guy who just reminds me of my ex taking the same Gem. It's the face I think...the "loudness" and the mannerisms. He's pretty lame. Played with M&Ms in class last week. Talk about haunting.

But I had gotten used to it. Used to affect me the 1st 2 weeks I was in school but now i dun really care. Was suddenly thinking of my past love life last night. Wondering why is it that I am so uncomfortable with making guy friends now? In fact, I won't say I've known some guy I can REALLY say that he's a friend...just not comfortable with the idea of sharing too much of my life with strangers basically. So I tried recalling the past, how I became friends with the guy I've had a crush on and eventually developed fr there...hmm...seemed "easier" to communicate at a much deeper level back then! Hahaha...perhaps we had more time on our hands then. Had this urge to re-read the past "love letters", so I did, whilst in the midst of watching Winter Sonata...and well...It really didn't attract me that much anymore. Positive signs! Thought of K too! The other guy whom I one-sidedly had a "relationship" with...all the sweet smses...and attention he gave me...the hints I was dropping along the way...the "dates" I tried to ask him out...eventually came to nought for he's just the kind of guy who's cute, makes everyone fall for him...cos' he basically treats ALL girls who like him better. I had really went "all out" I think...only short of "telling him my feelings" (which i eventually did when he left the restaurant) but well...of cos the so-called friendship ended then. Only regret was I didn't sit beside him in the taxi that took the both of us home on his last day of work. We never got a chance to sit in the same taxi cos' he stays in Woodlands and I in the east...But that day was the only and final day...I kept thinking, if only I was sitting with him behind, I would have put my head on his shoulders even if he didn't allow it.

I mean...I would REALLY love to. And I would have if I could...the urge was SO strong.

Since then, it has just been crushes...and NOW...it's nothing.

NOTHING at all.

I'm getting worried for myself.

Haha...Do i need love?

Perhaps. But I'm so happy without it...??? Wait...there's a paradox here...cos' I'm also having enough troubles WITHOUT it to begin with.

Hmm...well well...We'll see what goes...