The insecure side of me...

I am me. With all my insecurities. But I am me.

I'm sorry to have made some people upset again (as usual)...haha...I tend to do alot of things like that.

Perhaps I'm someone who actually needs a lot of attention but am afraid of getting the attention.

And I would like to apologise to all that have read and am sick and tired of my nonsense. I do admit that I lapse into this phase of self-pity far too frequently. In fact, I dislike myself like this too.

I guess it's just a matter of adjusting my xin1 tai4 ba.

Haha, I've the weakness of being an escapist. Like I'ld prefer to run away from my problems then to confront them. Which doesn't help things cos' ignoring it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. ;P

I think i'm actually very self-centred. Like how I tend to be over-sensitive and think that my friends are upset with me when in actual fact they are not. But luckily i clear all these misunderstandings and doubts almost immediately now...i guess that's a change for the better. =)

Had my last spa treatment package today. It was an oil massage...wow...think I'm really not used to it...i think I almost BROKE under the strength of the petite girl...my shoulders and neck was REALLY stiff so it was quite uncomfortable initially! But well...when she was massaging my head I think I actually fell asleep!

Haha...I must train to be a better tai tai and start to appreciate these massages man! ;P

And yeah...Made strawberry and banana milkshake! Wow...full of goodness! hahah...and MEL's party rocked! I had loads of fun eating good food and playing german bridge and basically just screaming and laughing my head off! =)

But there WAS one thing that bothered me. When the boss said, "you are just an A-blocker".

I was rather guilt-stricken.

It's true, it's my fault, for I chose to stay away and to stay in my comfort zone. I haven't been socialising much and talking to ppl whom I haven't seen in a while. I dunno if I wld have things to say...so...I chose to stay away.

I shouldn't have I know...but i'm feeling so insecure nowadays I'm also at quite a loss. So...when they dun ask me over, I choose to stay put.

Hmm...it's ok. It's over. But i can try and improve things another time.

Yeah...should try and concentrate on my work!!! 2 essays to be done...and no research was done! haha...tight schedule!

Jia you!