Strong emotions

I felt as if i've just gone through a roller-coaster ridel. I shall attribute it to my PMS.

I had spent hours planning my birthday celebration. An executive suite is booked! I guess that's a start, but there are problems. Room cannot accomodate ALL that i wish to invite. If I only invite my close friends, should I throw a buffet for the rest? Too expensive? Meet up with them seperately? Too time-consuming? Buffet? Where? Rainy? How? Too many things to think about. So basically i'm back to nothing much as usual. Haha...I think as it gets more pressing, it'll turn out. Oh...and I've gotta mention all my friends who have patiently "hear me out" when I was just going on listing possibilities and rejecting my own proposals one by one...people like Sunshine, Cuiling and Joyce...and of course my dearest Peijin who had to go to great lengths to book the room on my behalf and is now part of my birthday committee...;P

Then, I just keep sleeping during lessons, tutorials and lectures alike, no matter how much I've slept in the night or in the day. That sucks BIG time.

Then I found out that I've one extra day to submit my essay outline. Yeah! So as usual I slacked, went to eat the sinful "after dinner meal" and attended the International Relations Night and wow...said pretty silly things like "I can't believe Ross is in Dance!" under my breath (supposedly) cos' he obviously heard it. But it was funny to disturb him. Was once again "bowled" over by Swee Yong, my ex-crush! He's SO SO cute! I've no idea how to describe but just seeing him sitting on the chair, trying to study and "manage the store" and looking squeakingly well-groomed and gleeming at the same time. As usual, I did the bimbotic, "He's so cute I can't stand it"...thus invited more tease and mockery from my friends...sigh...then i ended up "too shy" to help him out though I REALLY wanted to! Now that was quite happy still.

Then, I had my KRX meeting. Kent Ridge Drama. I admit. I was irritating, I had absolutely no manners and was super attitude problem. Didn't know what came over me. I got what I always wanted, the play I was supposed to be in charge of is scraped. Now I can go watch Huang Cheng and not have long nights and be stressed. But somehow I feel bad. It's just like me, always wanting to be the bad guy and when I really become one, I start to regret the role.

Arrgh...And I haven't been doing much marketing for Urban Escape, the sports club project I got myself involved in. I haven't been doing much catching up with my readings either. I've just put all my responsibilities aside and watch crappy shows which do me no good and makes me all the more anti-social.

What's wrong with me? I really don't know.

Starting to dislike myself all over again.