Reminisances

After my outburst this morning...time for something nice! Last night I actually went for a band concert! Going for that concert reminds me of many things! Like how I was so "crazy" over Huiyi in my Secondary Sch days...how i used to like band so much cos' i thought so many "zai" people were in it! How I used to attend band concerts to support my best friend and other friends! hmm....those were e days man...i'm old!

Well, the guy who was supposed to drive me to tampines to pick up the biscuits finally arrived after almost making me cry for wasting close to 1 hr waiting! Since he's hardly an acquaintance...couldn't scold him...so i thought might as well make the best out of it...and I somehow managed to keep up with a friendly conversation with him! Talked all about cars and driving, Hwachong and friends...Nus and sports club....I did my best...No choice lah...2 strangers on a long journey from Clementi to Tampines...but i think we warmed up more on the trip back. We even had a few laughs! And well...after talking abt a few common ppl that we know...he suddenly mentioned En Huai...that was an unfortunate event...and left us quiet for a while. But the main thing was that Euken mentioned that we're no longer young.

Perhaps we are young, but that doesn't entitle us to "waste" any time, cos' life is precious and unpredictable.

After I dropped the Pumpkin biscuits, I went back to my room for a while, then it was time for me to meet Mr Thomas Tong for my project. Boy, he was NICE! And alot younger than I thought! He's my uncle's friend! According to my mum, a very capable Chinese man who came over to NUS to do his masters, married a girl with a PHD, and secured a job in a MNC plus he's got rather good english speaking skills! he was so patient answering all my doubts and doing even more! He "offered" to address many of the questions which I should have asked but I didn't exactly think of it! He's indeed VERY knowledgable! After the "not so nice Delifrance Hot chocolate but great fruit tartlet", and a rather "long" interview...we left Jurong East. We began to chat abt other things! His relatives are all pretty influencial i should say! His bro-in-law is some state mayor of Hangzhou who could probably take care of all my accomodation and all if I would wanna go back to China and visit! Haha...Then he told me about what he thinks about Singapore, China but the one comment he made that left the deepest impression is that, "Girls should make more friends and preferably find a Boyfriend in university cos' that's the best time. When it comes to the work place...the choices are just simply too narrowed!"

How true! I'm starting to get abit worried! Haha...time to take action! ;P On my way back, saw this st nicks junior of mine who came to NUS open house today! Wow...New people will be coming in soon! That's FAST! and...I had fun just telling her abt sch life, abt hall life and alot of other things! Which reminds me...I was thinking of the "butterfly Effect", "sensitive dependence"...If only I had more confidence in myself 2 yrs back. If only I've thought hard enough to make the "right choice". With ABBB and A2 for GP, I'm sure I could have gotten to another faculty or probably another Uni! But I felt too inferior then...My friends ALL did so much better than me! What do I have to compete? So i opted for the easiest option...i chose FASS...I think I told myself then, it's ok...so long as i'm the best there it's ok.

But I'm not the best...so I guess that's not ok.

Mr Tong is right. One has to be ambitious. When I was Sec 3. I wanted to be president of Chinese Society and be in the committee of the Prefectorial Board. So whatever I did, I worked towards those aims...I felt very "fulfilled" despite the fact that I fell short, only managed to get into the comm. of CLDDS and b a "welfare head" in PB. But still, I was happy.

In JC, I wanted to be in the comm. for ZWXH and be a director. I got what I wished. But I didn't dare aim for my As. So I fell...BIG TIME.

Now it's the same, I dare not dream anymore...I kind of feel like my fate is sealed.

But is it?

Maybe not.

I can't turn back time, but I can make the most NOW.

Sure hope I do...