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I am just Me. Am I?

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Random thoughts

Lots of thoughts had been running through my head lately. I guess it must be because of the long long holiday and it's somewhat the start of a "new year"? The chinese new year always has a greater impact than the new year for me...maybe it's cos' it's closer to my birthday so I always feel "older"? But anyhows...here goes...

1. Yes I know i've been talking about "dieting" ever since dunno when but deep down inside i'm afraid to commit to it. It's true...cos' I'm lazy and I dun wanna give up all the "good" food. But honestly...my weight's getting out of hand. Besides for health factors, more importantly it's the "beauty" factor. I'm already 22!!! If i can't wear sleeveless or a bikini now?? then when can i? when i'm 50?!!? So..pls pls my dear friends...give me a kind reminder...no...better still...tell that straight in my face when u see me overeating. "Shuhui, you're FAT and you can't go on like that"...help that'll help.

2. I cried SUPER badly when I was watching the S.H.E encore album "making" today. Their mtv for "wo ai ni" touched me so...A promise made by 2 people in love...the girl told the guy to wait for her...she had to leave for country for certain reasons...so she left a box behind for "remembrance". the guy said he will stay put and wait...and told her to look for him in the school if she cannot find him. 40 yrs past. the girl is now a grandma with a loving husband and 3 sons. the guy is still waiting for her in the school...and he never dared to open the box for fear that she'll "leave" him forever. They meet up after 40 yrs...they revisited the places they've gone in the past. the "girl" returns and tells her family that she has to leave to make up to the man who has been waiting for her so as to fulfil his promise of "a lifetime". her husband understood and even bought them a house...it all seemed "impossible" but I can't help but be touched.

I dunno if this kind of love will ever happen to me. maybe yes, maybe no. but despite all my talk abt me liking my singlehood and what not...i know that deep down inside i do want to be in a relationship, i want to love and be loved. so...dunno what my point is...haha...getting incoherent.

3. forgot what else is there that i wanna say...it's time for me to leave for china but i am actually more apprehensive than excited. i think it's cos' of the "longer time span of 8 mths" and the fact that i'm gonna be later than the rest of my cohort and i'm so scared of being left out. plus the fact that i'm feeling "lonely" enough and i fear losing even more of my "friends" being so far away and missing out on so much! plus the fact that i KNOW i'm gonna be so darned busy in china...

what to do?

think positive! be happy!!! =)

It's afterall the 1st day of CNY!! so what if my auntie said that i'm rou rou? so what if i'm single??

I should be happy happy happy!! SMILE!!! =)

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