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I am just Me. Am I?

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Dear ... ...,

Firstly I would like to thank you for all that you have done for me. I believe that you must have tried to put in as much good words as you can for me in front of others. And I also really appreciate the session we had on Saturday because it was then that I truly saw the impact of my own undoings for the past few months.

The truth was that I was undergoing a confidence crisis
(due to various factors), and after the initial "talk" we had at your house with you and ...... plus the email from ...... Indeed, like you said, I was "afraid of making mistakes". It didn't occur to me that way. I was feeling sheepish and guilty and probably quite lost, therefore I didn't exactly know what I should say or tell you, but my plans were to "play safe". Do what I am instructed to do so that no one could "find fault" with me, but I later realised, (thanks to you, ... ... and my friends) that this is not the way to "learn". The best way to learn is probably through our mistakes and given my special "position", I should make full use of my opportunity here to try my hands at everything.

Secondly, I really want to thank you for giving me a second chance. I know my greatest mistake for the past 2 months was that I was too laid back and I didn't not take the initiative to understand or to find out about the operations of V-KOOL. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned about how I were when I first arrived and how I was feeling when I was in Hangzhou with you. I almost forgot all those feelings and ambitions that I had just a few months ago.

I want to reassure you that I recognize my mistakes and my shortcomings in terms of prioritizing and time management but I had been correcting them. I do have certain expectations of myself and had been disappointed with my own performance as well, but I will no longer be paralysed in my own frustrations. I will do my best to prove my worth during the last 6 months of my stay here. I will not hestitate to ask "silly questions". I will aim to make sense of all the nitty gritty problems and fire which both you and ... ... have to fight everyday. I will accept all criticisms and work to be a better person. You are right in saying that I may be more comfortable working with you instead of ... ..., but not everyone can choose their own boss, so I will learn to adapt to his working style and comments as well. Many a times, it is all a matter of perception and how we choose to make out of a passing comment or remark.

Lastly, I will be more confident and manage problems in a more mature and efficient manner. I must learn to take things into perspective and look at the big picture, yet not neglecting the details. I know I tend to be unable to grasp the entirety of things.

Thank you once again for taking time off to read this through.

I truly appreciate your concern because I know for sure that your concern for me is sincere. I am only sorry that I haven't done enough for you to share your burden and that I had disappointed so many with my performance thus far. I hope I will not add on to your burden any longer and that I will "grow up" fast and live up to expectations.

Please feel free to comment or to point out my mistakes because I know that I have alot more to learn in terms of dealing with people and working life as a whole.

To be a better person, I know I still have a long way to go. But with your help, it will be easier.

Best regards,
Shuhui

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