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strange

2005-07-08T17:44:00.000+08:00

It still feels strange that I can continue to blog yet I can't see my blog or anybody else's for that matter...

Anyways, just in case any of you are keeping up with my blog here...ermm...to find out more substantially about my life in Shanghai...

go to www.xanga.com/shbubba instead.

I've a blog there as well...reason being I can access xanga here!

Hee...hope to hear more comments or receive more messages from my friends back in Spore! =)

I can blog!!!

2005-07-06T17:14:00.000+08:00

Yes, I just realised that I can actually blog on my blogspot! Hurray! Although I still cannot VIEW the blogs in blogspot...but still! Haha...so...that first blog is ... well ...

To be honest, it's not all smooth-sailing at my work here. I've screwed up big time somewhere somehow over here in Shanghai.

But I will survive, then I will move on! Pray for me my dear friends.

And...Please send drop me an email of encouragement at liushuhui83@msn.com

or sms at +86 1376 175 3882

or give me a ring at +86 021 524 12346

or better still...a letter at 万航渡路 2088弄 12号 502室邮编：200051！

That's it for now! Stay in tune!

Hope I'll have better tidings the next time round!

2005-07-06T16:45:00.000+08:00

Dear ... ...,

Firstly I would like to thank you for all that you have done for me. I believe that you must have tried to put in as much good words as you can for me in front of others. And I also really appreciate the session we had on Saturday because it was then that I truly saw the impact of my own undoings for the past few months.

The truth was that I was undergoing a confidence crisis
(due to various factors), and after the initial "talk" we had at your house with you and ...... plus the email from ...... Indeed, like you said, I was "afraid of making mistakes". It didn't occur to me that way. I was feeling sheepish and guilty and probably quite lost, therefore I didn't exactly know what I should say or tell you, but my plans were to "play safe". Do what I am instructed to do so that no one could "find fault" with me, but I later realised, (thanks to you, ... ... and my friends) that this is not the way to "learn". The best way to learn is probably through our mistakes and given my special "position", I should make full use of my opportunity here to try my hands at everything.

Secondly, I really want to thank you for giving me a second chance. I know my greatest mistake for the past 2 months was that I was too laid back and I didn't not take the initiative to understand or to find out about the operations of V-KOOL. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned about how I were when I first arrived and how I was feeling when I was in Hangzhou with you. I almost forgot all those feelings and ambitions that I had just a few months ago.

I want to reassure you that I recognize my mistakes and my shortcomings in terms of prioritizing and time management but I had been correcting them. I do have certain expectations of myself and had been disappointed with my own performance as well, but I will no longer be paralysed in my own frustrations. I will do my best to prove my worth during the last 6 months of my stay here. I will not hestitate to ask "silly questions". I will aim to make sense of all the nitty gritty problems and fire which both you and ... ... have to fight everyday. I will accept all criticisms and work to be a better person. You are right in saying that I may be more comfortable working with you instead of ... ..., but not everyone can choose their own boss, so I will learn to adapt to his working style and comments as well. Many a times, it is all a matter of perception and how we choose to make out of a passing comment or remark.

Lastly, I will be more confident and manage problems in a more mature and efficient manner. I must learn to take things into perspective and look at the big picture, yet not neglecting the details. I know I tend to be unable to grasp the entirety of things.

Thank you once again for taking time off to read this through.

I truly appreciate your concern because I know for sure that your concern for me is sincere. I am only sorry that I haven't done enough for you to share your burden and that I had disappointed so many with my performance thus far. I hope I will not add on to your burden any longer and that I will "grow up" fast and live up to expectations.

Please feel free to comment or to point out my mistakes because I know that I have alot more to learn in terms of dealing with people and working life as a whole.

To be a better person, I know I still have a long way to go. But with your help, it will be easier.

Best regards,
Shuhui

in a flash...

2005-02-18T09:33:00.000+08:00

I really don't know what to make out of this entire week.

I kept thinking, "I've got a week, things can't be that bad, I'll be able to meet up with my friends, to pack, to do my own stuff..."

Yeah right. It's a nice "sunny" Friday...and yet I felt like I haven't packed.

Had dinner with the lishis on Tues. It was nice seeing everyone again, pity we didn't take any photos but everyone's getting prettier and prettier! Lisa spent the rest of the night plucking eye brows for some of them...and yeah...i spent a night in Rei's room chatting away on Pi Xus and China. (Cos' she just went on a trip there)

Weds was another trip to Hougang Mall. That place makes my blood boil...dun really wanna recount but upon reaching home, I immediately spent 15mins typing a 500 word complaint letter to Spectacle Hut. The 1st time I've actually Lodged a complaint though I've always wanted to. Not sure if any action will be taken but at least I feel good letting all that steam out.

Thurs...I took half day leave on the pretext that I'll send my laptop to school for repair cos' the right speaker is spoilt. Plus I wanted to go YI to get some medicine for my sore throat and "threatening" flu. Was lucky to get my laptop there in time...but waited an hr for a 2 min meeting with the doctor...who, like all doctors, immediately took an interest in my fatty neck, asking the golden question of whether i've got thyroid (right spelling?) Had to reassure her that I've taken multiple blood tests and those are just FATS! --- time to lose weight man...gotta get rid of that bulge so as to avoid being doctor "specimen" interests.

Returned library books then went out to Bugis with Rei! Yeah...finally went to the temple to pray, bought a skirt from OG, nail polish from The Face Shop cos' they so cleverly used Kwon Sang Woo to advertise and I simply couldn't resisit...SUPPORT THEM! ;p Then I met PJ, PK and HM for dinner at Thai Express! The green curry is really quite good though i'm trying hard to ignore the evident sore throat...

Today's gonna be another busy day. Dinner at Harbourfront with YK and R, then back to Hall to pick up all my left over barang barang, (I can so imagine my mum's face...MORE luggage?!!?) Plus a possible karaoke session with Hefen and com late at night? Oh dear...tmr morn got charity walkathon at MacRitchie...then back to NUS for laptop, then Zhang Lao Shi's place at 1500...KR bash...

This is madness.

And my manager just expressed his concern about nobody being there to pick me up on Monday!!! My life's in a mess!!!

HELP!

Yeah!!! ;)

2005-02-14T17:34:00.000+08:00

Yeah! Finally! Managed to fulfil 2 of my many wishes during the long CNY break.

Caught A Moment to Remember on Sat. Cried really bad. Could have been worse if I was watching it with someone familiar but well...it was typical Korean Sappy...but this show is really not bad cos' it's not as cheesy and ridiculous as Windstruck, in fact, it is quite "realistic" and needless to say, hopelessly romantic. But of cos' something bad has to happen to one of the leads...so...well, but I'm still glad I caught that show! Cos' in the ladies...it was obvious who just watched AMTR, everyone's eyes were red and swollen! ;p

I also bought one of my favourite childhood snacks! The Huge round "paper" biscuits. I'm not sure how to describe it...but it used to feel like i'm munching of thin paper! ;p It comes in a pack of "whitish, green and pink" colour! ;p

KTV Finally happened on Sun! Woohoo! After several failed attempts of singing with some of the "babes", I landed in Hougang Plaza's Kbox with ZR and ZW! Wow...the lunch was actually quite nice! Some unagi and fried chicken rice box. And we sang many many new songs! of cos' I was going all off key as usual, but i've once again confirmed that I am only suited to sing songs which are of a lower key...haha...;p

Had once again, a failed attempt at collecting my contact lens cos' they got the degree wrong. I've resolute not to go back to Hougang Mall again so it shall be sent to Kovan this time round. Phew...

Dinner was at SM's place! I loved the devil's eggs and all that bah kwa! And the Yu Sheng was SO good cos' there was so much raw salmon! =) Not forgetting the brownie with ice-cream and fruits with yoghurt!!! Well well...what an unhealthy week! I swore I'll piled on another 3kg within a week! I'm so glad CNY is only once a yr. I ALWAYS die in the hands of CNY. I mean, it's not like i'm already skinny...so it's bad that i keep putting on the weight! And yeah...I tried jogging! Oh...what a joke! I told myself 4 rounds, and 4 rounds it was. Walked, jogged, went slightly out of breath, walked, jogged, no blood going to my head!!!

So it WAS 4 rounds, 2 rounds of walking, another 2 slow jogging...i'm SO SO embarrassed! Time to redeem myself once again!

Yuan4 Fu4

2005-02-12T10:37:00.000+08:00

Haha...i'm becoming to naggy and complainy I think I'm honestly becoming a true Yuan4 Fu4...

But "popular" Shuhui just had a very "lonely" CNY. I have once again confirmed that in this entire world...my Mum loves me the most.

Having a weird thought...I wished that my mum's 20 yrs younger...

disbelief...

2005-02-12T01:34:00.000+08:00

I didn't do much today...really.

Went to Hougang Polyclinic in hope to get a meningitis vaccine but didn't cos' I had to wait too long...to Hougang Mall in hope of collecting my contact lens only to see the shop STILL closed...(I'm starting to dislike Hougang)...so off to Chinatown's OG once more.

Not bad, managed to restrain myself to ONLY 2 tops...but had an interesting Linner at the Singapore's Heritage Restaurant (Note, the black pepper beef beehoon is way too salty and oily, esp. for $8, but according to my mum, the porridge is quite good...very appetising. My opinion? Dun bother, i'm a GARBAGE TRUCK. So long as there's food, i can't really tell if it's good or not so good...in fact i'm often swayed by what others say...but just give me food and i'll pile it in...)

But ONE predominant thought kept coming back to me. The scene of lots of busy people walking around in the morning, rushing to...WORK.

*shivers in fear*

Why is the LONG LONG CNY break coming to an end so soon? I haven't fulfilled ANYTHING on my wish list yet!!! DAMN. Plus I haven't packed...(@*#*$&(@*#$^&*%*#

One week left...

*disbelief*

Love Horoscope

2005-02-10T23:09:00.000+08:00

On a lighter note...

I chanced upon this article on horoscope and love life this morning...it told me that green plants and rearing a little tank of fish will aid in my "tao hua". Good...I've always wanted to have a pot of plant and some fish on my table! I will definitely get those when I'm in Shanghai...

then I noticed the horoscopes that are compatible to mine.

Leo and Sagittarius.

I just can't help but wonder...

My first love was a Leo, Kwon Sang Woo's a Leo, following my first love, my first serious crush after my failed first relationship whom I thought I honestly had a chance with was a Sagi, and he was the 1st Sagi I know off...

Actually I tend to know more Leos then Sagis...but somehow...knowing that there's this "similarity" doesn't make me very happy.

I was once "hurt" by these people before...

but still...i should give love a 2nd try at least right?

so people...if u know of any nice leos or sagis...intro them to me ya? haha *bitter smile*

A teary CNY

2005-02-10T22:52:00.000+08:00

Yes I teared once again...

It is still very vivid. When I came back fr Hangzhou last year, I dressed up in the white top and pink skirt which I bought in Hangzhou, thinking that I look really sweet with my rosy cheeks...I was so excited about seeing my grandma, I thought she looked really good and she was just holding my hands repeating herself over and over again...we took a nice photo together.

Within a twinkling, a year has past...but this year, my grandma came down looking tired...her eyes were watery and lifting her head up to look at us seemed like a chore...her feet swollen, the purple veins showing...and she didn't even speak. I went up to her, and she looked at me with her beautiful hazel eyes for a few minutes...I looked at my grandma...I knew that she had to be a beauty 50 years ago...maybe 40...or even 30...but now...i'm not even sure if she knew who I was...so i can't help but teared though I wanted to look happy and to wish her a happy new year.

Then i told my brother to wish her happy new year too. But he said something that troubled me.

"What's the point? Of giving her well-wishes when we only visit once a year?"

I'm not sure if he saw my tears but I was sad...really sad.

He's right, I am probably a hypocrite. Why should I bother feeling sad when I only visited my grandma once last year? When I was in Singapore the entire time, spending most of my time with my TV instead of my books...Why do I only remember her once a year? I am such an unfilial girl. I am so useless...in fact, it pained me to see her like that so I had wanted to leave earlier, on the pretext of letting her rest...when in fact, i just wanted to escape and hopefully forget.

HY was right to say that I'm an escapist. I really am. When there's a problem I would choose not to face it...then pretend that it doesn't exists and that it doesn't bother me.

Why am I so useless???

And I somehow dunno why am I still rattling nonsense here when I don't even think that anybody bothers to read...

why what how? my mind's in a mess...why is it that I've never had enough confidence? why do i dislike myself so?

My mum found my P4 art portfolio last week. In my family tree, everyone was nice, kind, gentle, funny...but when I described myself...it was "not so nice, with a temper..."

I didn't realise that I've thought of myself so lowly even in P4 already. My inferiority complex...the feeling of unworthiness...will it ever go away?

I've always wished to be someone nicer, someone prettier, someone slimmer, someone cleverer, someone better, someone funnier...

Do i NOT love myself or do i love myself too much?

Random thoughts

2005-02-09T20:00:00.000+08:00

Lots of thoughts had been running through my head lately. I guess it must be because of the long long holiday and it's somewhat the start of a "new year"? The chinese new year always has a greater impact than the new year for me...maybe it's cos' it's closer to my birthday so I always feel "older"? But anyhows...here goes...

1. Yes I know i've been talking about "dieting" ever since dunno when but deep down inside i'm afraid to commit to it. It's true...cos' I'm lazy and I dun wanna give up all the "good" food. But honestly...my weight's getting out of hand. Besides for health factors, more importantly it's the "beauty" factor. I'm already 22!!! If i can't wear sleeveless or a bikini now?? then when can i? when i'm 50?!!? So..pls pls my dear friends...give me a kind reminder...no...better still...tell that straight in my face when u see me overeating. "Shuhui, you're FAT and you can't go on like that"...help that'll help.

2. I cried SUPER badly when I was watching the S.H.E encore album "making" today. Their mtv for "wo ai ni" touched me so...A promise made by 2 people in love...the girl told the guy to wait for her...she had to leave for country for certain reasons...so she left a box behind for "remembrance". the guy said he will stay put and wait...and told her to look for him in the school if she cannot find him. 40 yrs past. the girl is now a grandma with a loving husband and 3 sons. the guy is still waiting for her in the school...and he never dared to open the box for fear that she'll "leave" him forever. They meet up after 40 yrs...they revisited the places they've gone in the past. the "girl" returns and tells her family that she has to leave to make up to the man who has been waiting for her so as to fulfil his promise of "a lifetime". her husband understood and even bought them a house...it all seemed "impossible" but I can't help but be touched.

I dunno if this kind of love will ever happen to me. maybe yes, maybe no. but despite all my talk abt me liking my singlehood and what not...i know that deep down inside i do want to be in a relationship, i want to love and be loved. so...dunno what my point is...haha...getting incoherent.

3. forgot what else is there that i wanna say...it's time for me to leave for china but i am actually more apprehensive than excited. i think it's cos' of the "longer time span of 8 mths" and the fact that i'm gonna be later than the rest of my cohort and i'm so scared of being left out. plus the fact that i'm feeling "lonely" enough and i fear losing even more of my "friends" being so far away and missing out on so much! plus the fact that i KNOW i'm gonna be so darned busy in china...

what to do?

think positive! be happy!!! =)

It's afterall the 1st day of CNY!! so what if my auntie said that i'm rou rou? so what if i'm single??

I should be happy happy happy!! SMILE!!! =)

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

2005-02-08T21:26:00.000+08:00

Happy happy! I'm another yr older!!!

... ...

U know it's bad when...

2005-02-08T21:10:00.000+08:00

u know it's bad when U feel like a walking glob of jelly.
u know it's bad when Ur underwear which used to fit nicely are being overstretched.
u know it's bad when Ur clothes no longer fit.
u know it's bad when U dread looking at the mirror.
u know it's bad when U get out of breath easily.
u know it's bad when U are lethargic easily.
u know it's bad...

I know it's bad...;p

Vat??? ;p

2005-02-08T01:08:00.000+08:00

Check this out people! It's the joke of the day I guess! Got quite a shock when I first saw the results but hey...I think deep down inside...this is quite telling of me! At least...the "idealistic me".

You are a Belly Dancer. You are charming inside
out, your life follows an interesting rhythem,
beautiful and smooth, you know how to be the
center of attention when you want to, you love
your friends and you can trust them on your
life. Your ideal man is the one with a sweet
witty character who understands how much
freedom is important to you.

What kind of dancers are you? (Girls only)
brought to you by Quizilla

Busy busy weekend!

2005-02-07T18:09:00.000+08:00

Phew...what a busy and tiring weekend I had! But fun fun! I think my life SHOULD be like this! bwahah...at least...it used to be like this! ;p

Sat I woke up early to see my dearest Dr Lee for the last time before I leave for China. I was given my plastic retainers, then off I went to shop shop before Joyce comes to town to meet me so that she can shop for her birthday pressies.

I tried clothes at Zara, Fashion Lab...so many places I can't really remember. However, I did fall in love with a pink/yellow with a rose print tube dress from Fashion Lab which I think i'll most likely buy despite the fact that I may NEVER ever wear it plus the fact that it's ex lah...! ;p

After Joyce came, we went in search of my shoes, her watch and clothes in general! We walked in Taka, then to Heerans (for my URS shoes which turned out that ALL stores ran out of stocks after I called up each individual branches), and back to Taka to see and buy stuff. We met Kat and Weiling in Taka foodcourt! I ate Tako Pachi and Venezia Ice-cream! (which I felt didn't taste as gd as Bravisso, at least the durian lah) Btw, the point was I was SO SO upset by the fact that I couldn't buy the shoes which i had set my heart on (it wasn't even on sale!) and that the salesgirl didn't attend to me after I've decided to settle for another pair...we moved on to Charles and Keith which I was so distraught and tired i almost bought on impulse anything that was black cos' they all looked the same to me. (ordinary). Lucky i had Joyce with me so gave me sound advice and I finally settled on a nice pair! phew.

We then rushed to Far East where we met Hefen! We each bought a bag from Little Matchgirl with a discount cos' PJ's a member there! ;p After that it was really too late so I rushed home cos' I promised my mum I'll buy her dinner.

Sun was another day of "rush". I woke up, picked up groceries at the market, then left for town once again cos' i needed to buy J's present fr Hula! Ended up buying so many pairs of earrings! Heee...cos' my friends were ard mah! Then it was off to AMK's NTUC to help shop for bbq stuff! Wow...almost forgot that shopping for so many ppl can be quite exciting! In fact the last time I helped organised a "big-scale" bbq was YEARS ago when my JC class had a chalet! The bill came up to about $100 though...cos' i was looking through the receipt the other day when I was packing. J was more generous and QW and I were happily shopping for whatever we like to eat! ;p

We then went to Prima for the cake...and finally driven to Cui's place to marinate the meats. Cos' of a wrong turn, I managed to alight at Kovan, waited for my mum to come..and a second round of NTUC thus commenced cos' we had to prepare for a steamboat for reunion dinner on Tues! ;p Now...that got REALLY tiring.

Made my way to Cui's place at about 7pm. Sat ard, talked to Jacques, when the bbq food started coming out...(I simply refused to help...;p) I started to eat and eat. So I basically sat at a table with the nice NTU girls and chit chatted and ate and ate and ate. I ate till i was SO full! But the bbq stuff was nice! (Jean improved along the way!!!) Joyce's grandma's cooking was superb...and not forgetting the amazing dessert of Chin Chow plus Nata de Coco and Longan! MY GOSH. Fish, chicken fillet, chicken mushroom balls, Sotong balls, prawn balls, fishballs...it just goes on and on..haha...;p

But i guess the best part was seeing the crappy and "husky-voiced" everlyn again...plus meet some of the supposedly "hot" guys...and the funny ppl like WF and Chun! haha...

I had a good time laughing and eating.

My weekends should be spent like that. hee....though my mum's not very happy that i wasn't around to help with the packing.

Sorry mama.

New office!!!

2005-02-07T17:52:00.000+08:00

Hey bloggie! My company shifted to new premises! I was initially allocated a nicely shaded seat far far away from the Managers...but well...cos' they found out that a particular seat was "baking" under the hot hot sun...so well...being the poor intern...here i am! ;p But I do not mind really...since I'll only be around for another week before I fly.

Talking about flying...@(&*$#@*&^#

I told the person-in-charge to help check for an air ticket on the 20th so that I can go for the bash on 19th. I was hoping to go on the 8:20 flight...but they happily told me that only the 20:55 one is available...biggest problem is...I'll only reach Shanghai THE NEXT DAY at 06:35! Idiot! So after some consideration, I decided that it's better that I arrive safely in the day, so that my comrades can pick me up and I can use the weekend to settle in...so I called to confirm the Sat flight...but they happily told me that they've already cancelled my Sat flight!!!

What to do? I tried telling them to put me on the waiting list but apparently it's not going to be easy, esp. now that everyone's on leave!!!

TMD. So how my darlings? Anyone coming to send me off? It's now on Sun! Now I gotta stay "overnight" at Bangkok airport...and i gotta decide if I wanna go to Shanghai and sit in Haagen Daz for the ENTIRE day OR wait even longer in Bangkok and reach Shanghai at about evening time.

A******. Why must we fly Thai when it's expensive and we must transit and waste so much time when there are so many direct flights?!?! What's up???

TMD. The more i tihnk about it...the more I feel "unjustified".

Sucks.

Anyhows...okay..next entry will be a "happier" one!

2005-02-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

Check him out babes! *drool*

My new love...Kwon Sang Woo aka Quan Xiang Yu

2005-02-04T23:53:00.000+08:00

I'm so in love with this man.

Just when I was questioning myself...why is it that I've only been in one relationship? Why is it that when I listen to soapy love songs on a rainy day on the bus...there's only this ONE person I can think about?

No...I don't want that. I'm already 22...and yet these are all the memories I have.

haha...and yet...after One entire year of being "crush-less"...I choose to "fall in love"...with a...Korean Actor.

It's no wonder...I can foresee myself being a spinster already. Plus the fact that I'm not doing anything to make myself more attractive both physically and behaviourally.

TOo bad for me I guess.

But hey...Xiang Yu is THE MAN! Or should i say Che Cheng Jun is Da Man? Successor of a Shopping Mall and Amusement Park, Handsome, Rich, Super fun to be with...and most importantly...Very devoted.

I love the way he frowns when he thinks of his "lost loved". I love the way he tears when he reminances...I love the way he cries when he realised that his love has cancer...I love the cheeky way he smiles/laughs when they are having fun. People out there love his "body. But what attracts me most is his face...When he's sad my heart aches but when he smiles I can't help but smile too! =)

Sighz...Cui's right...these Korean Drama poison my mind. Where on earth can I find such a man?

Never.

That's y I'm destined to be a spinster.

Hougang Chinatown

2005-02-04T23:48:00.000+08:00

Okie...time to talk abit abt Hougang Chinatown.

It's actually just a pasar malam...bigger scale...and lasting for a much longer time! =) Plus all the lights hang around the streets! The red lanterns...a HUGE fortune god who supposedly throws lucky numbers out 3 times per night...and lots of dragon plus lion dances...

My area has been bustling with activities lately.

And that makes me very happy! =)

Yeah yeah! Though i must say having supper 4 nights in a row wasn't that good a thing...;p

Sighz...

2005-02-04T22:02:00.000+08:00

sighz i'm such an IT idiot. All I wanted to do was to try and upload a profile photo but I didn't know where I can get an url for the photo? So I tried uploading using Hello! and yeah...the picture appeared as one of my entries.

Well...I thought the photo was quite nice so decided to just keep it there. Bwahah...though it is abit out of the blue but yeah.

I've no idea why i'm so tired today when I've effectively done NOTHING.

It was office shifting day. I got to the office. Surfed maybe ONE website? Den the connection was cut...so we basically hang ard chit chatting...DEN...my nice manager gave me the excuse of going to NUS library to help him do some research so I happily went to HSS.

I searched for books...surfed abit...met up with You Jie and Jingwen for lunch...den I decided...to go back to office.

Yes...despite my heart wanting to go out shopping/walk ard etc...cos' i was afraid that my colleagues wld spring me a call and I wouldn't know what time I can get back.

To my "delight"? I got back to office to find 3 ppl playing dai di! So I happily joined in! We played and played...shifting our "den" from our office to another when they started to dismantle our stuff. I lost badly...only won 6 sets out of about 40??? Haha...

Then at about 4 something they said we could go back cos' we were of no help at all. But we continued playing till about 5:30pm.

My gosh...wat a waste of precious time! To think that my manager called to explain that he told me to go to the library cos' he knew that I wld b wasting my time in the office. I shld have made use of that time to do something constructive!

But come to think of it seriously...what's constructive?

I want to go KTV but there's no one to go with me.

I want to go shopping and spend money. But hey...haven't I been spending enough?

so what else is there left to do? even if i really wanted to do something...who shld I ask?

Maybe...I need to pack my room, pack my things....

Arrgh. This is vexing!

2005-02-04T21:59:00.000+08:00

One of Gaudi's colourful works!

Morning Glory - the crux

2005-02-03T16:38:00.000+08:00

I was just reading the previous posts...then I realised that...

I actually forgot the most important part of the aftermath of Morning Glory!

All that happened actually kind of rekindled the "fire" for drama in me once again.

Like what my twin said.

I miss Huang Cheng.

And more simply said.

I miss the stage.

I will try my very best to take part in a production or to be involved in a a theatre company in future.

Really really. I must keep that "aim" in mind...though it definitely won't be easy.

Dilemma!

2005-02-02T17:13:00.000+08:00

How now brown cow?

Rei just planted an idea in my head. She told me to postpone my flight from 19th Feb Sat to 20th Feb Sun.

So that I can go for the KR bash on Sat.

But...cos' i'll be flying Thai airways. The entire trip will take close to 8hrs plus transit...meaning I'll only reach Shanghai in the late afternoon despite flying off from Singapore at 8am!

Which translates to little time to rest and settle other personal stuff before reporting to work on the 21st Mon!

How how??

Suggestions my dear friends?

Morning Glory!

2005-02-02T14:31:00.000+08:00

KR's 3rd original hall production took place on 29th Jan 2005! And I was really glad that I've got the chance to actually watch it!

When I came to know that the Master was looking out for people to write an original script...I was really tempted...but didn't dare to go for an interview...but wow! I was actually "selected" to join the scriptwriting team!

Then came all the meetings at Wheelock Place staring at Lingerie and wrecking our brains for ideas. 10s of ideas came down to 2...then we decided on the ONE. Coming up with a main theme really wasn't that tough...it was the development of the story...then E's place, scriptwriting at F's...Brainstorming, refining, typing script during my work...haha...those days were "fun" in a certain way.

But honestly speaking...after the 2nd or 3rd draft was handed over to E and C...the 4 of us kind of "faded" into the background. There were alot of talk abt the script being changed over and over...abt this, abt that. I went to Europe, WL finally got his gf...F was happily in USA...and C...supporting Rockers? haha...

Time passed and I guess I somehow...didn't really DARE to say that "hey! I wrote the script for Hall Prod!" cos' I really didn't know how it "developed".

So it was with a really normal heart that I went to watch KR's hall prod.

But suddenly ppl i know "found out" that I was part of the scriptwriting team so I got smses of "encouragement".

I heard the lines which we wrote being said...it was really a strange feeling. Happy..yet.."apprehensive" maybe? As the story unfolds...I was rather proud of the fact that more punch lines was added...and that some characters were given more flesh. Of cos' I didn't totally appreciate the director's direction...but I was proud of the fact that C really did put onto the stage her perception of what the musical shld be like...it was as per what she decribed to us a long time ago.

But...I guess the most satisfying part was that my friends actually reflected that they liked the script alot! =) Yes we didn't write those poems...but my friends liked the concept! GW said that the idea was good, AL said that it's not easy to write a serious play...JW was all grins and very sincere when he said that he liked the script...

I was SO happy! Then I started to regret the fact that I didn't sms ALL my friends to support my attempt at scriptwriting.

Haha...but well...it's over. For those who missed it and wished to take a look...

I might just buy the VCD! ;p

Tired tired

2005-02-01T17:03:00.000+08:00

Wow...

I didn't know that calculating and keying in data can be so tiring! I actually spent almost an entire day of "full concentration" before I finally completed compiling ONE set of documents! (There's another envelop lying on my desk right now)

Arrgh.

But well well...I'm still in a really "high" mood actually. It must be all the excitement of last night's vball match...it's still in my head.

We won the 1st 2 sets...so the whole of KR kind of thought that wow..okay, it's gonna be over soon. But who knows? TH actually took the next 2 sets! Actually by the 3rd set my throat was already super dry but I perserved! When the 4th set ended I almost wanted to cry but I felt that I couldn't give up on KR...and YEAH! BRAVO! What a marvellous last set it was! We took so many points right at the start! With great spikes and serves! Woo hoo! I was literally jumping and screaming my lungs out! Almost forgot how powerful my voice can actually be! It was really fun! All the anticipation and all...the heart actually skips a few beats when the ball is caught by the opponent or when we face a VERY dangerous situation!

I was so high...i think my breath was ringing in my ears long after the match was over.

The walk back was just as memorable..with R, M and AM...and we just kept on saying the strong points of each individual players...K's spikes are so accurate and positioned, CV is so powerful, WH is so steady...blah blah...and we made fun of each other and laughed all the way back.

This is what hall life is all about I guess. The being together...and...the fact that when i walked about at nearly 2am...the 2nd floor was SO full of life u wld have thought it's probably 8pm.

I am so going to miss hall.

Okay...that's all for now. Will try to blog more later! I think I should start on my second stack of forms...hmm...

SUPER VERY PROUD to be a KENTRIDGEAN

2005-01-31T23:20:00.000+08:00

Am exhausted now...and i'm using my ex-roomie's com so dun haf e luxury to blog blog blog...have so many things to say!

1. My new love, Kwon Sang Woo and the Stairway to Heaven.
2. The "happening" Hougang Chinatown
3. The fantastic KR Hall production, MORNING GLORY
4. The MOST exciting Male Volleyball Match ever! KR vs TH!

my oh my...i'm a very happy girl!!! =)

Look out for my bombardment of entries! Coming really soon! (I hope)

Proud to be a Kentridgean

2005-01-28T17:09:00.000+08:00

The few days when i was in R's rm chatting away really reminded us alot of the gd o'days back in old KR.

When we were room-mates. The days when I will disappear twice in e wk for tuition...till I got more and more involved...the days when we woke up at 5am for trainings, 5 IBGs, blk breakfasts, blk dinners, talentime practices, wkend/hols rushing for HDCA, neverending Hall Prod rehearsals, watching lots of Kultural events, rehearsing in the wee hrs for KRX...the A blk swing, the "chalet settings", the blk bench...

those were beautiful memories.

And me...from a "anti" fwoc freshie...to a Fwocer myself, and actually Considered JCRC.

Wow...but all that was compromised...my dreams were compromised for my China expeditions. Incl. the most impt one of me actually ACTING in one of the hall prods.

well...since I'ld most prob not have any more KR experiences...I shld just be happy with what I have.

There's R, M and all the other girls whom I know...plus all the other familiar faces. Yes I was rather phantom 80% of my stay. But I'm sure i'll b remembered by some.

Once a Kentridgean, Always a Kentridgean! Some more we're so close on the heels of EH for IHG! 52 vs 57! Jia you KR! =)

Blogging

2005-01-28T10:40:00.000+08:00

Hmm...vrey guilty but I've spent alot of time this morning looking at other blogs.

Of cos' there are those famous ones like www.mrbrown.com But he's good! Honestly! Very witty and interesting entries esp. with regards to local news!

Then there's the xiaxue one, which personally, well, think she leads a very different lifestyle from me ba.

And MY fav thus far! Cheeky!

Suddenly motivated...to add more interesting tings to my blog. Pictures, funny entries etc.

Maybe my blog will be more lively! =)

But before a major revamp...let me complain abit more about my ageing!

Had Macs last night abt about 8pm. Man...couldn't digest properly! And i think I cld still feel the "after effects" of junk food in my body! And it wasn't even an "overdose" strictly speaking...it was just a normal meal!

Getting old man.

Silly me

2005-01-28T09:16:00.000+08:00

1st time in quite a while...I actually managed to reach the office early! Like super early...maybe at about 845am?

So I stood outside waiting for someone to open the door. Luckily someone came at about 9am.

BUT...now that my GM is in Taiwan, RM in Shenzhen, 2 others went for a morning seminar...haha...no one's here to "know" that i'm early! hee...but well...the office is SO quiet now! As compared to the "noisy" and rather relaxed environment yesterday...haha...

Hmm...met up with all the ppl gg to Zhejiang Uni for SEP this sem. Suddenly feeling old. Mon night when I stayed over at R's place. She was playing "Dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shui", I've nothing better to do so I started to think about JC. Realised that most of the time I really would prefer NOT to think about it...Crap...dunno what I'm getting at already. Pt is...I think I'm old lah.

I've been wearing all my "old clothes" lately. Clothes which I bought when I was in...late Sec maybe? They got really loose when I lost all the weight in JC...but NOW...they are Slightly tight.

What's wrong with me man? Y can't I control and diet?!!? I've this urge to be in a relationship lately. I missed having someone fuss over me and what not...

Gotta lose all the weight to achieve that! arrgh...

Just some thoughts...

2005-01-26T10:15:00.000+08:00

Hmm...I think it is very telling that I only get to update my blog like once a week as compared to everyday.

I'm BUSY working!!!

Bwahha...ok lah...not THAT busy. It's just that...i'm in the office everyday from 9am till 630pm. By the time i get home it'll be 830pm. Dinner, tv, no time and energy for the Computer anymore. (Plus the fact that i face the com. always in the office)

So why is it that I can afford to blog now? Heh heh...cos' my manager who used to sit behind me has left for Shenzhen. And the GM has gone to another office for the morning! Yeah yeah! (I'm an incorrigible slacker)

I feel like the time I have left in Singapore is ticking by like nobody's business. I only have...3 weekends left? My weekdays are effectively non-existent cos' i end work so late...

Sighz sighz sighz. I know i was being too "emotional" regarding my last post. It is all part of growing older and having more responsibilities in a sense. I guess.

Will anyone miss me when I'm gone? I'm sure some of you will right? At times or another. Try and drop me an internet sms/email/snail mail or better stilll....Parcel! once in a while k?

Just once in a while will do. Think I'll be more than happy! =)

ps. Heard that my bosses are on the cover page on this issue of Business Times! Wow...will i ever get to appear on a magazine as a successful person? (of cos' i dun wanna be a "criminal"...haha...)

Packing and unpacking

2005-01-21T22:19:00.000+08:00

Finally...I've got a day at home with nothing much to do...so...I did some packing.

Looked through a pile of papers which my mum was planning to throw away.

There were scripts of all the plays I was involved in CLDDs in St Nicks. PUN camp file. Scripts of my class assembly skit even, letters, contact lists...interview comments...my past essays and "zhou jis".

I wish...that I was young again.

I realised that I haven't changed much really. I'm still as "grumbly" and "sad" as before! Most of my "zhou jis" were on friends and friendship...about how I cherish them and how I'm not sure if it will last and how my father objects to me spending time and all.

But there IS one big great difference. I used to spend so much time with all my friends. Going out, talking on the phone, writing letters and notes. I found some letters from "angels" i didn't know i had! I was sad, I was uncertained, but I complained alot to my friends...and they helped me out by consoling me!

But what has became of me now? I haven't chatted on the phone for...maybe years? No one now knows about my daily happenings and feelings except for my mum maybe? When I meet up with my SN friends, I dunno 9/10 of the people or the things they are talking about cos' the majority were in different JCs and different unis/halls. No one has asked me out the past 2 weeks. I was stuck at home on a public hols though I really wanna shop but no one was free. I didn't know who to ask too...and I watch movies/go shopping alone now.

Yes I save alot of time...but where are my friends?

Is that the reason why I've become even more irritating and even more "miserable" then before?

Cos' I dunno who are the people in my life anymore?

Or is it...all just part of growing up? This drifting apart?

Or am I not putting in enough effort?

What should I do? I think I've lost all my knack for communicating! I dunno what to say when I'm with my colleagues. But I used to be such a chatterbox! I always liked to be busy! To be going out frequently...to be on the "go"!

The people I knew all thought that I was extremely popular. Yes my msn list is almost full. But what for when I can leave it on for one day yet talk to no one? The same goes for my icq list.

I think i received 4 xmas sms well-wishes and only 1 xmas card.

I no longer receive new year well-wishes.

What's wrong? Where have all my smiles gone?

Am I destined to be alone? I'm starting to feel more and more lonely.

I think I really am growing old.

I miss SN, I miss Hwachong and the many many many activites I used to take part in.

I miss KR too.

I miss the old, smiley, happy, bubbly, and "active" me.

Where are you?

My week at work

2005-01-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

It has been a good week. Haha...at least I would like to think that it is.

Finally met my manager on Monday. Haha...what a shock. He didn't turn out like what I thought he would be. He's got shoulder-length (aka LONG hair)! Yikes! And he behaves like a Ah Beng. It's erm...okay...i'm not put off but I would say that all wasn't expected. Lunch was at Tri-con. The place at CPF building with Pasta Mania, Wrappamania and Vietro all in one. The parent company owns it. So our GMs treated us but I didn't know so I ordered the cheapest wrap. Haha...it's actually quite filling! But I wld recommend eating the brownie there...cos' it's relatively affordable ($2.50) though the ice-cream portion was small, the brownie was warm and nice! Rushed down to town to trim my eyebrows then went back to KR. Stayed over at Rs rm that night...it was so nice having someone to chit chat with before sleeping!

Everyone was in a relative frenzy cos' Tues was the Corp Plan day when the entire team, incl. all the regional managers and the directors. It was truly an eye-opener cos' it's the first time I finally realised what kind of sales our company is currently dealing with, the difficulties and the forecasted numbers. What's even more impressive is that our directors are indeed extraordinary. A cld tell by looking at the huge numbers that the percentage was wrong, or he could remember the numbers from a previous slide and point out that the calculations might be wrong. My gosh. no wonder he's the boss, the senstivitiy towards numbers and money! haha...Lunch was Japanese Pizza! Oiishi. It's quite a change fr the normal pizzas but i think what really left an impression on me was the soba salad and the sauce...nice! The meeting officially ended at about 7 plus then off the lot of us went to Straits Kitchen at Hyatt for a buffet dinner. Hmm...I must say that some of the food tastes pretty good...e.g. the Hokkien Mee and the red bean, sesame ice-cream...but overall...i would say that $30++ for a local fare buffet dinner doesn't sound all that worth it...plus the drinks...exhorbitant! $9 for a milkshake!? Lucky it was on the company!

Weds was another day of "conference". This time it was about market segmentation and branding and stuff like that. So we managed to have Pizza hut this time round. Pizza hut's wings are still THE BEST. The achievement of the day was probably the fact that I was praised for the notes I compiled for the meeting! Yeah...Thanks N for all the "trainin" whilst I was secretary for Fwoc!

Thurs was yet another busy day with lots of meetings! We were introduced to a new product which we were supposed to market...and China was expected to bring in US$100,000! My gosh...My manager nodded readily...I sure hope he's truly confident! The office came together for dinner at Baos & Buns at Scotts (which was opened by an ex-employee). I must say that the concept is rather interesting! It's like a "chinese burger" cos' the buns are like the steamed mantou kind! And I heard that the beef rendang is good! I personally liked the cold tofu &the wings..it's quite interesting. After dinner was drinks at Thumper at Goodwood Park Hotel. Wow..the places the working ppl go are really different! The crowd is mainly the executives I guessed...but we were kind of like "hiding" in a corner and chit-chatting abt anything under the sun. The funniest thing is that ppl started leaving at about 10pm so some of us left for Cosi Cafe outside Scotts for another round of drinks such as coke/coffee and more fries and wings. My gosh. What a "healthy" lifestyle. My silly manager started telling us more about his "fav" client in China and I almost died laughing...But it's good cos' we finally communicated and he said that he thinks that it's impt that I'll have fun over in China since I'm only on a 1-yr stint...and he was nice cos' he said he'll let me try my hands on all 3 tasks (Selling V-Kool, Nanolux and the Archi component), then let me decide which one I would prefer to cont. working on. He hopes that I'll learn things...and he told me that he'll gladly write a nice recommendation letter for me at the end of it all...but most imptly, he told me that I must tell him if I feel like i'm overworked.

Good..this seems like a promising working relationship that's open. But he also prepared me for the uncertainty and chaos that's bound to greet me when i'm over there...it's ok i guess. All these will be part of my character strengthening process. I just hope that I can learn to be alot more confident!

Looking forward I guess...Jia you jia you shuhui!

Long time no...

2005-01-15T14:48:00.000+08:00

I must say that this week has been a week of mixed feelings I guess.

More or less settled back into my life back in Singapore. Kind of gotten used to waking up at 6am...leaving home at 7...reaching workplace by 9...leaving at 640pm, reaching home at 830pm...eat watch tv sleep.

And it goes on.

Didn't make it back to KR as early as planned. It as a minor mites issue. As usual I over-reacted. But things went back to normal as quickly as the "storm" came. I am amazed...by the extent of how well my friends can understand me. R knew that i wld b hurt and crying. my gosh...am i that predictable? bwahaha...but..well...i guess it's just me...to always be so oversensitive and yeah.

Speaking about work, this had been a great week for me! hee...cos' the entire company is now busy with either the corp planning and shifting (company shifting site), so I was pretty much left alone. Completed all my translation work by thurs...so...was basically msn-ing away when no one was around to supervise me! heee...but wow..was trying REALLY hard not to sleep during the internal corp plan meeting...next week's agenda is like meeting after meeting...WITH the directors...i think i better get more rest!

KR.
Went back on Thurs. I was SO SO happy to be back there...to feel like i've a "life" and am part of all the activities going on. Went ard to SRC with the intention to support but missed all the matches. haha...came back to hall, watched abit of tv in R's rm, then off to kitchen we went to help prepare for supper. Supper was GREAT. SUPERB. well...minus the fact that I've once again put on ANOTHER KG cos' of that...I managed to sleep in my rm somemore! cos'...well...it was unoccupied then! Felt really nostalgic looking at my surroundings...esp when that was the last time I'ld probably ever sleep there...Had many dreams that night. But mostly of HIM. I wonder why?

Fri was the only day when I had the luxury of chatting the entire day away. Managed to chat with him for abt an hr. Chatting actually felt very "natural" and "normal". That made me happy once again. Perhaps we could really be friends. perhaps. Had lunch with N! Thanks for the nice beef claypot and soursop juice! Afternoon the NCS ppl had a very interesting conversation on msn! With the ppl already IN shanghai...and those over here. I am actually kind of lookin forward to the life I'ld be leading soon! Yes...i'm giving up KR, my friends...it's a trade off i guess. But my hse mates...one SILLY boy who's ALREADY badmouthing me!!! Plus a nice da jie, a quiet boy, a nice to bully boy and...a not so "xiao" de "xiao di"...think it might be potentially very fun! Sigh...mixed feelings.

Stayed at home this lovely saturday. Ordered pizza hut's hawaiian supreme with the free sides for lunch. My gosh...pizza hut improved!!! The pizza had more ingredients, the salsa sauce was shiok...and the wings...simply delicious! hahaha...

Actually I'm not sure if i'm feeling slightly lonely here. What a stark constrast this week as compared to the last. No one asked me out...and...hmm...wanted to go JB to shop and cut hair...but seems like no one's free!

Wonder what the next week holds...but the time I have left in Singapore is slowly running out. And yeah...slowly but surely I'm reaching my "FAT point". Yes, I've hit 60kg once again...this time round...with all the fats depositing on my tummy...it is really quite gross. But I think I need to be significantly grossed out before I really take action rather than "simply talk".

Hope this is enough.

FAT TIRED FAT TIRED

2005-01-09T01:06:00.000+08:00

Yeah...that's what I've been feeling most of the time lately.

i AM fat.

quite Ugly.

and SUPER SUPER tired.

Had a nice dinner with SH on Thurs at Pastamania. I still think their pastas are nicer than their pizzas.

Fri I went to SGH to visit my Pa. I repeat. I do not like the hospital. His blood bottle...the fact that he's on morphine...and that after a while his lips will turn white cos' of thirst...

I think the nurses think that he's a nuisances cos' he kept asking for water and urinal. But...

I dunno what exactly i'm saying...but heart pain.

Then it was off to Hefen's hse for her bday.

Chocs, cakes and CHIPS. OMG. I ate SO much at like 1am. It's no wonder I AM fat. Put on 1kg because of that.

Slept at nearly 3am...woke up to go for the workshop at York. Wow...I was like almost half an hr late but I was cool and nothing happened cos' they were just hanging ard!

I was afraid it'll be some noisy affair with hundreds of ppl chanting slogans.

So it's totally the opposite of what I've expected. 4 round tables of at most 4 ppl each. A file, a presenter...and lots of thinking plus writing.

We had morning tea, then lunch, then afternoon tea. I drank alot of water and ate sweets in an attempt to keep awake...

Finally it was over. It was Bearable, beneficial in a sense that it brought some insights and methods of changing attitudes and all...but it was afterall...a SATURDAY!

Anyhows, went to Zouk later to attend Sun Yanzi's mini concert! Am so happy to see her so "close"...but I only managed to hear 2 songs cos' I was so late! Then it was dinner at Great World...ate a nice time chatting with M and her nice and smiley friend Judy. Trip home was bad cos' i was SO sleepy I couldn't stand still.

Mite status.
I sure hope they're all dead. After one night of "scalding" myself with hot hot towel plus dettolling and poisoning.

Yeah...will be shifting back to Hall on Mon! Hopefully...then the dieting will commence!

Jia you!

Good night!

=)? =(?

2005-01-06T01:04:00.000+08:00

Okay...it's been some time since you guys heard from me...guess it's time I give a quick update.

I've officially started the wretched working life. Working hours are from 9am to 630pm. Though there is a 2hr lunch break, it's really quite tough trying to endure till 630. Besides, the people in my office often go home late...so...I can foresee a VERY busy future ahead, esp. in China when working days are like 6!!! Plus the fact that my shanghai boss has already thrown me a few tasks...I've been trying to translate, research, and undergo training and trying to memorise things all at one time! It can get quite taxing...I think the travelling to and fro plays a part too? It takes me 1 and a half hours to get to Science Park! Bloody hell...sigh...i'm complaining so much...though it has only been officially 2 and a half days!

Cos' yesterday I spent the morning travelling to YIH to see the doc, plus meet up with the rest of my NCS mates to apply for Visa together plus eat lunch, and talk cock. Good thing is...I think i'm gonna like my house mates. My roommate is a very nice and sensible girl (hope she can tolerate being with me though), plus 4 guys...of which one is a HUGE crapper...think our house MIGHT just be quite fun and happening...if I'm home long enough to "enjoy" it.

But good things did happen along the way! Like meeting Rei and having Garlic Chicken Chop on Mon. Watched Kung Fu Hustle with YJ today. It was really very very funny! Plus it was actually quite captivating! I mean...I was actually "jing zhang"! Hahaha...

But...there's one MAJOR problem bugging me. (Literally)

I think I should come clean with all my dear friends...though I fear that I'll face "rejection".

Hahaha...sounds serious right? Actually...quite. I've got Scabies. It's this microscopic parasite mite thing that attached itself to me...and apparently manifested ALOT! So my left leg is super badly bitten! Both my feet itch...and my right hand has quite a few bites too. My left elbow plus abit on my hand...it didn't even spare my face and neck! I feel so disfigured!!! Plus...sigh...it's not easy to rid of it...so I feel bad that my mum has to stay up late with me...to wash my clothes and bedsheets with warm water every single day! Plus I might have left some behind in the initial stages...and they might already have infected my family members! Cos' the inhibition period is like abt a few weeks! =( I'm so upset. Not only am I miserable...I'm scared my family will be too! But i've been applying poison on myself. the mites SHOULD have died...but I'll continue to itch for a month...and god knows when the marks will disappear...=( But rest assured that I'll cover myself up...and not come into physical contact with any of you should I see you all k? So...dun shun me like I've some diseases k? Okay...maybe I really do...but...SIGHZ.

All right...time to sleep...think I'll need more than 2 cups of coffee tmr!

HOME!!!

2005-01-02T01:39:00.000+08:00

I am back home! It is quite incredible. After a month of travelling and nearly 13hr flight. Yes I am home.

It has been only a few hours since I've touched down. I have sort of unpacked. Left with a 8kg backpack. Came back with one 8kg one, and another 20.8kg one on my back. Even my Bro said I was good.

Yeah, it's pretty amazing how I got ard man. I think that explains the blue-black on my fingers.

But I am back. With alot of chocs, food (we love the supermarkets), clothes even...and over 2000 photos.

Yes, I think it's that much. But I haven't uploaded all so I'm not sure.

Oh my gosh. This is crazy. I only had time to read through my mail but there is like a lot of things that I should be doing. Like replying my mails, thinking about my accomodation, and clearing out my backpack, packing my room....AND.

Intership starts on Monday.

Why did I ever agree?

Bwahahaha....hope all goes well.

Happy new year folks! I shall be back with more stories asap! =)

Rome and regrets

2004-12-24T01:55:00.000+08:00

It is not the first time but well, i can never seem to have enough space for my photos...and i so regret bringing the creative camera over because i need to charge the battery and it always like dies on me when it is the nicest scenery ever.

this sucks. if only i have my panasonic with me. the batt will never be a problem.

and internet access is so ex. dun ask me why i am still here...i wanted to go back and pack already.

travellin is so rewarding...yet so tiring...tmr will be florence...then venice, brussels, paris...

then home.

i am so looking forward to going home actually...

Beautiful Paris

2004-12-12T01:56:00.000+08:00

hey everyone! i am still well and alive! haha...jus a bit not dat very accessible cos e internet connection in paris is Really super expensive. no kidding. 22cents per min somemore e keyboard is slightly different i m having difficulty typin now. plus it is freezin cold... my hands feel like they r perpetually put in e freezer! i cannot type extensively now but i must say that paris is even more beautiful than london is n i m truly enjoying myself though it is really really cold over here!

be prepared for hundreds or even thousands of photos ppl! n lots of stories if i bother to keep an account after i return to singapore. btw...pls ask me out for meals when i get back man. everything is so expensive here...i m gg broke. but definitely not starving myself cos paris is to me...nice bread smells n a beautiful city.

keep e sms comin ppl. i can get them via e internet. my hp died when i was in disneyland...cldnt receive any sms 4 a day.

all rite. hope i dun freeze n dat my photos turn out fine pls pls pls pray pray

hope 2 hear fr u guys! =)

=(

2004-12-06T06:41:00.000+08:00

I must be getting old...i tire out so easily...like now...i feel like recording my day but i'm simply too sleepy...

Everyday in London...I see new things and I'm touched.

I hope to be able to blog fully soon...maybe tmr morn? I'm just so sleepy now...but there's no space for me to sleep!

leg breaking day

2004-12-05T06:33:00.000+08:00

To make up for lost time...our itinery was really packed for the day.

I woke up super early despite sleeping late cos' we were watching this Hilarious Taiwan variety show and the person they were interviewing that day is Hei Ren and it was SUPER funny cos' he used to be such a weird guy who placed his shit in his friend's drawer as "revenge"! And he likes to go around stark naked!

Btws...we woke up at about 6am...starting planning for the day in detail all over again...and set off to Portebello market. It was a HUGE magnificient market cos' the "antiques" or the old stuff are really quite pretty! The clothes were pretty nice as well and the food market...WOW! Haha...but I didn't buy anything except for ALOT of postcards, a winter cap, plus a few London pins and a Boneless Chicken Leg sandwich. I surprised myself for being so "sensible" but I really feel like the stuff here are too expensive to be purchased. Still...it was a joy walking through the "pasar malam" in London.

Cos' of our reluctance to leave the market...we ended up late for our other sight seeing plans. We decided to get the tickets for British Airways London Eye first.(A ferris wheel-like ride to catch a bird's eye view of london!) We then set off for Buckinham palace...but no admission cos' the queen is still in residence, no changing of guards...so we left after a short short while. We then took ALOT ALOT of pictures of the Parliament House and Big Ben especially as we walked across the Westminster bridge. I haven't seen that many buidlings as yet...but right now my favourite building would have to be the Parliament houses! I haven't seen anything so magnificient and pretty I just couldn't take my eyes off it! After we took a ride on the London eye, (had to queue more than half an hour to enter the capsule!) we then rushed to Westminster Abbey but it was too dark to see anything!!!

(to be cont...)

WOE IS ME!!!

2004-12-04T06:30:00.000+08:00

SOB! I can't believe this happened to me...but I was typing this entry about me coming over to Europe within such a short span of time it's almost unbelievable and blah blah blah...

THEN...AS I WAS NEARING THE END...

I had to kick the power point! WHAT THE?!?!

But anyhow...after 14 long gruelling hours of Air France, 3 hrs of waiting at the CDG airport 3 (cos' we missed the earlier flight), and a close to 2 hrs trip to FT's place...J and I FINALLY settled in London! The long periods of travelling was really quite bad. No good sleep...but I had the chance to watch 3 movies on the plane (Garfield, The whole ten yards and Princess Diaries 2) plus ate ALOT ALOT ALOT of good food! I must say that I think Air France serves the best plane food around!

Upon reaching London, the first place my friend took us to was Leicester Square...where all the theatres are! Since it's like unthinkable to leave London without watching a theatrical play or musical...we went there in a bid to find "discount tickets"...turned out that all was really quite expensive...so we settled on restricted view for Phantom of the Opera...which still cost each of us nearly $68!

Before the show commenced, we had a few hours to spend...so we walked around Chinatown...bought pastries and buns for breakfast the next day. Our dinner was Pizza takeaway cos' it's like the cheapest thing u can find. (1.3 pounds is Still like $4) But we had a rich desert of Ferroro Rocher cup (ice-cream).

I was REALLY excited about watching Phantom...it's been one of the musicals that I really wanted to watch! The area is laden with theatres and opera houses but I think Her Majestic's was quite nice cos' the exterior was very "gu se gu xiang"! People in London REALLY dressed up to watch musicals...like my mum said...but luckily they didin't drive us out lah...i think it's our winter coats that saved us! Haha...BUT BUT! cos' of the long hours and travelling and no proper sleep...I was struggling to keep awake (esp. during the second half)...in fact, I think I dozed off for at least 1/3 of the show! That is SO SO sad! Plus the fact that most of the other time when I'm not sleeping...i'll be having a stomachache and FIGHTING against the urge to use the toilet cos' I was feeling so uncomfortable but I didn't want to disturb others from watching the show.

However...I must say that the sets were rather pretty! I loved the river and boat rowing parts...though I thought "Christina's" voice wasn't as powerful as it should be...but hearing Phantom was bonus enough! We were so tired after the show that it was home immediately...and bed after we bathed!

This morning I still managed to wake up pretty early and then it was off to St Paul's cathedral after breakfast. St Paul's was pretty nice. With lots of statues and we did alot of climbing! about 500 odd steps to the top to get a bird's eye view of the surroundings. Lunch was avocado sandwiches at Marks & Spencers (I really love the supermarkets i think!)Then we set off for Tower of London.

Alas! J's digi cam "died" on her...so we walked around the area for a while...(I honestly think that the Tower Bridge and Thames River is DAMN pretty! I liked the atmosphere there!)then we decided to go to Oxford street to do some "shoppin". Hmm...despite the shopaholic in me...I thought that I can't bring myself to buy anything here! But it's pretty impressive..the Niketown and topshop! Variety WAY surpasses the outlets in Singapore. J managed to grab a steal of 5 pounds at GAP though...a pair of working pants.

After walking around for so long...I was feeling really tired, cold and miserable...We couldn't find a place that seemed nice yet affordable...so we decided to take the tube back to Leicester Square which we think we're more familiar with! I managed to find Tea at 1pound! (So happy) and then we headed for home!

Ate SO MUCH for dinner! hee...i'm so happy to be able to eat rice, beancurd and fish fillet! It's only been a few days yet I'm already missing chinese food...it might be because I've been seeing wraps, sandwiches and pizzas so much that I'm starting to get scared...cos' it'll probably be the only thing we can afford anyways!!!

So it's now 11pm 3rd Dec in London but already nearly 7am in Singapore 4th Dec!Tmr we've planned to go to a market in the morning...then to the Buckingham Palace and Westminster Abbey. Hope all turns out fine! Wanted to catch another play but not sure what...see how...

Btw...it's so cold here that I was shivering whilst bathing AND I had the heater on1 Damn!okay...all my friends are happily sleeping...guess it's almost time I sleep too! ;P till the next time!

Last lap....

2004-11-30T06:03:00.000+08:00

Will be having my last paper in less than 7 hours time...that's not too far away but i'm getting increasingly nervous.

It's not like it's a very tough topic cos' it's essay based and therefore hard to fail.

It might be because this WAS supposed to be my pet subject but I haven't given it due justice by spending enough time studying...

But more likely cos' i'm so anxious to get it over and done with so that I can face the EVEN more stressful task of shifting out and packing for my trip.

I have no idea why such a fun holiday is stressing me out so much.

Might be because I'm overly excited about it.

It's actually pretty scary you know. So far...and just the two of us.

So exciting, thrilling...ok ok...enough.

PLS HEART...stay with me abit more...just for a while longer.

This will be over...soon enough.

Prepared?

2004-11-29T14:39:00.000+08:00

I didn't know that being mentally prepared for an examination is so important...i knew what to expect from the Micro paper...so no major disappointments there...just that I was so idiot. Spent time deliberating on a tough question when there's one that LOOKS tough but actually ain't so tough. Well...I didn't do as usual...just hope i'll pass! I mean...come to think of it...I dun even know if i did the rest of the questions correctly?

Sigh...I'm too cocky for my own good lately...not a good sign at all.

Btw, I came back, had noodles,watched tv, played abit of games...and am preparing my cheat sheet for the last exam tmr. TMD. How to squeeze so much info into ONE A4 paper? Damn Damn. Think I shld start putting them into my brain instead. Sigh...already at page 8 when there are like 4 topics left. How many pages can I print on one page and make it READABLE still?

Btws...Wed is Paris Day. Actually, I still dun really believe i'm going. Guess I'm just not mentally and physically prepared. Esp. after that horrid dream of me missing my flight cos' I haven't packed and I got the wrong time...SIGH. Actually i think I'm more worried abt the fact that my room is still messy and that I haven't packed my backpack!

Am I prepared?

I wonder???

2004-11-28T08:17:00.000+08:00

I'm Stressed sTressed stRessed strEssed streSsed stresSed stressEd stresseD

This sucks.

2004-11-27T07:28:00.000+08:00

Had this question in my mind when I was watching this Korean drama on Tues.

To all my girl friends...say you were given a choice...and was told during your painful labour...that only either you or the child can be saved...who will you choose?

What a tricky question...even I cannot answer that. I mean, the "sensible" thing would obviously be save the mother because the parents can always try for another child...but...hmm...

Anyways, I had my third paper yesterday. It was pretty ok cos' I spotted all the "right" questions...but hey...I didn't study ALL that hard cos' in between were alot of neopet games and tv and what not. But after that paper...I went out ot Orchard to meet my NTU friends still. No...I wasn't trying to be funny...I had to pass my friend money to change for Euros...MY BACKPACKING trip! To think that I'll be on the plane 4 days from now...it's actually pretty unbelievable considerin that I still have 2 more papers to deal with first...hmm...

Anyways, FELT SO SO LIBERATED and absolutely HAPPY when I saw the TAKA Christmas tree! MAGNIFICIENT! Lucky I got a glimpse of it before I leave the country! Then I saw the first $1000 of my life...yes...i'm a poor girl...and it was time for me to go SGH to visit my Pa.

Apparently there were stones in his body that caused him SO much pain he was admitted into hospital on Monday night, right after he came by NUS to pass me Chicken Essence....and I didn't even know abt it until Thursday night when I called home to talk to my mum about money matters. My dad didn't want me to know. Sigh...To think that I was there Thurs morning for my Health Screening. (To digress abit, i really think that SGH's Yong Tau Foo is the BEST I've ever eaten!)

Anyways, I was glad to see that my father generally LOOKS ok. It's just that he seems suddenly alot skinnier...and listening to him saying that he had to go through so much scanning and blood taking...I actually teared after I left the ward.

The hospital is such a sad place. Maybe with the exception of the BABY department.

Wells...so Fri was spent away like that...travelling, and then more game playing.

SIGH. No more time to lose...my friends are right, only a few days left and I can TRULY enjoy myself.

So pls work hard girl. PLS.

Bad girl

2004-11-24T18:36:00.000+08:00

I've been a bad girl today.

Besides for the usual wasting my afternoon away playing games and choosing my songlist...

I also ate many foods that are on my "to be avoided list"

1. one FRIED PRAWN fillet burger at Macs
2. Abt 5 mouths of Caramel Sundae
3. One serving of Beef (chosen over fried chicken wing)
4. Curry Vege (chosen over fried crab stick)

Sigh.

Hmm...they're fogging the place now! reminds me of the days when R & I will go "Fuming, fuming"

Ok. Out of point.

VERY FULL...

Better late than never???

2004-11-23T14:25:00.000+08:00

Why am I so insensible?

Dining hall was my fav place to mug last year. I even tried studying for the entire night there and then went straight for my paper in the day.

maybe that was how I got my B- instead of a fail or something.

But this year, I had simply refused to move...thinking that i am more comfortable and at ease in my own room...therefore?

90% of my time was wasted on me clicking away on the laptop, either watching tv, listening to songs, reading others' blogs like at least 5 times a day. Checking my email accounts at least 5 times too. Scrolling up and down my msn list, poking my nose into others' affairs, trying to find out more abt their lives via their nicks.

Then at the end of it all...blamed it on my own lack of willpower to focus. = screwing up a perfectly doable/potentially easy paper.

If I had gone down to the dining hall last week...perhaps my entire "life" might have changed.

My CAP could possibly go up a few points...instead of like now...

I think my CAP will FALL by a few points.

I finally went down to the dining hall today...and felt like I've studied...or at least absorbed alot more within a MUCH MUCH shorter time span than I would have in my room.

In my room, time just seems to pass me by without my doing anything. Eg. I can spend 2 hrs on 2 pages of notes...no they're not tough topics...it's just that I was busy most of the time either trying to keep away or playing games.

Can these few days redeem myself?

I dun really think so...but at least I've started...better than nothing right?

Ma...I'm so sorry to be such a unfilial girl. I know that I haven't been studying hard or putting in my best...I can already predict my guilt on i'm on my Europe trip...spending my mummy's money and yet not producing good results.

Sorry...I promise my final sem will be better. It BETTER be.

Dead

2004-11-22T13:28:00.000+08:00

I know that almost for every paper, I'll end up feeling this way. But this time round it's really different.

I know I could have done it. I could have. The questions are like rip offs from the tutorials. There's no reason why I couldn't do it.

Except for the fact that I remembered the formula wrongly. So it ended up really cock.

I lost at least 25 marks for not doing or for writing things that are stamp-chopped confirm wrong.

That's like about half out of the 55 I'm supposed to get.

Why am I always like that?

I know others can score full marks for this paper...now i'm not even sure if I can get at least a C.

But I dun even want a C!!! It will pull my CAP down by so so so so so so much!

What if I fail?

I was so stoned after the paper, I wanted to scream, to cry, to tear something apart. I felt so cooped up I thought I could die...

But luckily I met Rei, after I talked to her about my fears, I teared abit...whined abit more...

Then I felt better.

Since there's nothing I can do now.

Can only hope for the best for my other papers.

Sigh...had half a Kit Kat bar, 2 slices of pizza, half of a Kaya Bread and Vitasoy.

I declare myself.

A stupid and filled up pig.

what will you do?

2004-11-22T01:27:00.000+08:00

What will you do?

If you have less than 9 hours to your paper and you just realised that you're less than 1/2 prepared.

Yes. So what if I have looked through the notes? I just realised that when I look at all the examples, I can't remember the formulas to use.

*takes a deep breath*

It's ok. I'll sleep first.

And cry tmr...after the paper.

Love triangles?

2004-11-21T13:56:00.000+08:00

Seems like there are a few suspicious love "shapes" happening lately. But well, let's hope that platonic friendship does exist between 2 VERY close male and female friends.

Anyhow.

It doesn't concern me so why am i blogging?

Trying to escape from studying again I guess.

ARRGH.

Not supposed to happen

2004-11-21T01:53:00.000+08:00

This is not supposed to happen.

It's not supposed to be 21st. I'm not supposed to be having my exams...haha...I wish.

Actually, I'm not supposed to be playing games...not supposed to be blogging, not supposed to be watching TV.

But I'm doing all that now.

I'm starting to think that Korean dramas are quite crappy...What's with all the "U cannot/not supposed to love this person because of this and that?"???

Okay, maybe the ONLY person you're NOT supposed to develop romantic feelings should be your direct siblings...or even a near cousin because of the possibilities of deformatives in the offspring. But even so, I dun think that they should be deprieved of the chance to "love". If they can accept the fact that they should not conceive. Fine. All right, I admit that this is one selfish statement, because almost all parents would not be able to see it that way...but...what's the big deal about someone loving another because she has a heart transplant that is from the guy's first love? So what if you fall in love with your ex's half-sister?

What's so unethical about it? Isn't that what love is all about? Developing feelings, hurting others, promises are made, promises broken, hearts broken...

I mean.

I dunno what I mean.

But I dun believe that someone can live without another.

I hope I'll never be so irritating as to DEMAND that the person I should ever love to love me back, or expect him not to love another.

One cannot love to order. Really.

I must remember what I preach. Although I once thought...that if given another chance, if I could be someone else, I will try all my best to "win" the heart of the person i once loved alot alot back.

Really. I thought I would.

But now I'm glad that I didn't attempt anything majorly drastic.

I must not love someone who doesn't love me.

Singapore Idol

2004-11-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

OMG OMG OMG...i JUST had to say this....

WHY is it SLY?!?!?!!?

I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM.

From the initial drug addict...till now. Yes I admit I was once quite taken in by his "charming" smile and winks and what not...but HEY you silly google-eyed girls out there...WAKE UP and LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tian ah...he can't sing for nuts!!!!!!!! In the music of the Nigh.............................................I'll FOREVER remember and FAULT him for it man.

What the hell is NIGH?!?!?!?!?!?!? Say your Ts!

Are Singaporeans really so LC? Must we choose a Ah Beng to represent us? First PCK...now this?!?!!?

And my poor poor Olinda...I so feel for U I wished I've voted more! Then won't have to waste my tears already....Your vocals are so strong...in fact it's the best! So what does this tell us?!?!

It's still a society with gender discrimination! Why MUST/SHOULD girls be slim and pretty?!!?!?

TMD.

Dunno what else to say.

Pissed.

studying?

2004-11-19T18:40:00.000+08:00

oh no...dun be mistaken, I wasn't really studying.

I can watching tv, playing games, surfing the Creative website, thinking if I should go home, thinking if I should go out...thinking of London, Barcelona and Paris....

THINKING THINKING.

But hey! I received good news this morning! =) I'll be starting work in V-Cool 3rd of Jan...and only going over to Shanghai sometime in Feb AFTER Chinese New Year! Hurray!

Can stay in sunny and happy Singapore for some time before flying off to China once again.

Can I NOT go for exams?

Please?

I've a good mind to pack my bag and sit at Changi to wait for 1 Dec to come.

#(*$#*&@*#)#($(*#@&%

MAD rush

2004-11-17T18:34:00.000+08:00

no no...i'm not referring to my studying.

It's my DAY and esp. my dinner I think...that's such a MAD rush.

I woke up at 6...hoping that I can get some studying done before I leave at 8am for my dental appointment at 9am.

YES. 9am.

But it was when I stepped down from the bus that I realised. OMG, I was supposed to let my dentist see the progress of my teeth and let him tighten my retainers....BUT they are NOT with me!!! I left it back in HALL!

BEST. After having a "nice" 45min sleep on the bus...i dun think i really wanna go back n get it...So I told the nurses, my dentist was walkin past n he heard.

So he laughed.

Winner. I sat down, he took a bit of floss, showed me that my teeth is closing in quite well and that I probably dun need to tighten my retainers.

That didn't take a min!

And so I left.

Walked to OC Lib. Dropped a lib book. Sat down at Macs with a cup of tea and started reading my notes. Waited till the shops opened...walked over to Scotts to have my eyebrows trimmed. Walked back towards Wisma, TAKA, then walk walk walk, shopped shopped shopped.

Came back at abt 2pm. Headed straight to UWH. OMG once again. Why is that place so packed? Ppl seemed to be al falling sick, or all trying to do checkups and take vaccination jabs. But alot of the ppl who were waiting...were like me! All reading notes and textbooks. HAHA. It's really the reading period man.

The doc "kindly" prescribed 10 sort of medicine for me...the pharmacist was shocked, the nurse amused. I ended up paying $21.15 for them!! OMG. The pharmacist kept askin me if all these medicine was needed for my travel, does it mean that if i'm currently SICK i won't have to pay for them? I mean...they are all like for fever, running nose, flu...how come so ex...not standard meh? What the HECK lah. Nvr verified.

Took my jab, decided to read abit more at YIH canteen, den when I was abt to fall asleep, it was time for me to go to the Registrar to pick up my transcipt. Submitted it to NOC. Sat ard to wait for my friend (she's supposed to lend me notes to photocopy) and off to Arts we went.

Picked up our essays (A-)!! Yeah! =) worth my not sleeping one night! Zapped notes, and went Co-Op...Spent another $20!?!?!? WTF...i'm getting REALLY poor!!! And well...that's the end.

Got back hall feeling like a dead fish. Packed my dinner, bathed...den downed my dinner in...7 minutes?!?!!?

I can't believe myself either. Why is it that everytime I eat...time crawls and when I do other things like sleep, watch tv, etc...time flies?!?!

Ok ok...i'm sorry..i know I shouldn't gobble my food down like that...it's no wonder that I get stomach problems and I get fat.

Sorry stomach. Sorry to my body.

STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm such a sinner cos' I ate biscuits, ice-cream, yakitori and bread with cheese and mayo?!?

Yuck

2004-11-16T14:56:00.000+08:00

I'm such a smart ass.

Besides for constantly falling asleep despite the fact that i've only less than 5 days to study for 5 modules STILL.

I happily sunk my teeth into mouldy bread.

OMG. Lucky I didn't lose my sense of taste and decided to "pui" whatever's left in my mouth...but now I feel TOTALLY yucky.

To think that I ate the 2 slices on top of that green bread just earlier this morning.

HAHA.

YUCKS. bleah.

Touched

2004-11-14T22:42:00.000+08:00

I was so tempted to start complaining. But I guess my PROGRESS is plain for all to see...i usually vent all my frustrations via my msn nick.

HAHA.

But anyways, the reason why I typed this entry is because I was touched by this documentary. If only I've seen this 3 years back...who knows? I might have "changed" and studied SO SO hard I'll end up with 3 or 4 As...and be in the med fac.

I Did...once in my lifetime...wished that I'll be a doctor who can help save lives. This documentary was about doctors and nurses who went on a voluntary trip to Indonesia to help poor children from the villages to do some simple surgery, to correct a defect such as a cleft lip.

Upon seeing how their parents were so sorry for the fact that they couldn't afford to let their children undergo a surgery, their happiness when they saw how "handsome" their child have become....I can't help but feel tons of respect for the medical staff...and thoughts of what a terrible thing "poverty" is.

A simple surgery, would probably have changed their lives forever...not just their appearance, but their futures...

My doctor friends...do all you can do help others k? You are doing a sacred job here! =)

Banzai!

Haha...saw this on a friend's blog. Highly amusing!

2004-11-13T17:33:00.000+08:00

Your Boobies' Names Are: Bambi and Thumper

Get your own Boobie Names

I am so sucky

2004-11-13T15:49:00.000+08:00

Let me tel you...

I know I've promised...no more complains. And indeed, I thought I wasn't going to complain anymore.

Until...all right. I was watching tv...den I had my lunch. A box of salad, a bottle og yoghurt, sounds healthy enough. But I ate quite a bit of nuts. Guess I was a bit too full then..plus the rain started...so I was SUPER tempted.

I decided to lie on the bed. And it's SO disgusting cos,
1. I went to bed when I was full = getting a tummy
2. I gave up the chance to study
3. I was having disgusting dreams, was coughing....and all the while I had the opportunity to wake up ( I near I was dreaming = not sleeping well)

But I DIDN"T! I chose to sleep on!

Huo Gai if I really flunk my modules or score below a cap of 3.5. Huo Gai that I gain weight and have a HUGE tummy.

By the way, the dream WAS disgusting. It took place in a huge mansion, my hall and various places. I was with a huge group of weird and perverted people (supposedly my family). They were here to visit but supposedly to crack a murder/rape/truely disgusting thing that was been going on in the mansion I was staying at. (think it belongs to another rich family). It turned out that the head of that family is an EVIL OLD DIRTY COUNSELLOR, who, one the pretense of counselling sad and pitiful women, rapes them instead, and I think my friend was on of the victims. So like after a mental + maybe some strength battle, we kind of like chopped him into pieces and ship them away...WITHOUT the "law" knowing anything abt it..the entire household was happy so no one said a thing...this horrible man happy disappeared whilst my HUGE family happily stayed in the Huge mansion and drank to celebrate!

So there's like alot of deceit, sex and violence! What with blood, killing and unorthodox sex.

OMG. What's happening to me?!?!?!?!?!

I'm CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wasted 2 hours on tv, and now another 2 hrs on NON-quality sleep!

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Study....

2004-11-13T11:40:00.000+08:00

Your Beauty lies
in Plain Sight. Plain, simple and the girl next
door. People tend overlook you as you are the
"normal girl", but you're actually
very beautiful. And you have plenty about you to
set you apart, but more that
lets you blend. People love the stability you have
because as others may come
and go, you will always be there and you may always
be the same. You like simple
things and that's what people like about you. You
most likely enjoy things most
consider normal, like movies, shopping, that sort
of thing and are very friendly
and probably have many friends. You are sweet and
kind and that shows on you,
but you're also strong and not very naive. You're a
rather well-rounded
individual. Even though some people pass you off as
just another girl, shrug it
off because they don't know what they're
missing.

Some Things
That Represent You:

Element:
Earth, Light Animal: Cat Color:
Pinks, Blues, Browns Song:
Girl Next Door by Pilot Expression: Simple
Smile

Gemstone:
Alexandrite Mythological Creature: Fox
Demon, Hobbit Sign:
Tauros Planet: Jupiter Hair Color:
Light Brown Eye Color:
Brown

Quote:
"To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla

What's up?

2004-11-11T22:37:00.000+08:00

Ok...let me do my LAST complain here!

I promise it'll be the LAST!

Cos' starting tmr...i'll be burying myself in my books!!!

Let me give an account of my day.

Woke up at 7 plus. Brushed my teeth, washed my face, tried to read my econometrics text. Starting dozing off after ONE paragraph. Gave up....went back to bed.

Next time I opened my eyes it was already 10. Supposed to meet Cui to swim at 10:30. Immediately started on making my salad, which I've spent time buying all the ingredients last night. Left my house at about 11. Worked out at the treadmill instead cos' I didn't bring my swimming costume back! ;P Chit chat with C by the pool...watched her eat my salad, went to her house for sweet potatoes...den back home.

Had lunch. TRIED to study. Aimed to complete 3 chapters before I leave for my interview. Got super distracted. Watched abit of tv, surfed the net a bit. Felt so tired very tempted to sleep...realised that i ought to research on the company later just for courtesy sake...

THEN it was time to leave for the dinner interview. OMG. I barely completed 3 pages! I deserve to be shot right?

Wanted to go Si Ma Lu Guan Yin Miao to Bai bai...found out that it was closed...walked back. Bought plasters for my feet (abrasion with the shoes AGAIN!) Then off we went to pastamania.

I SO enjoyed the interview! Learnt so much from the boss (who's only 30 and capable with a beautiful wife!) Found out that the company is a largely successful one! Who is behind NETs, EZLink...and has lots of aspirations for the future! The boss abides by a very open concept. It was really enjoyable talking to him and learning about how to live, survive in Shanghai, how to do business, and I asked him about corruption, the possible increase of the RMB...and wow...it was a great learning experience all in all...it made me think if I've made the right choice? He told us so much! From the company, what he expects from us, the job scope, the future prospects...to how to survive with 1500rmb....WOW...I think there's ALOT ALOT of challenges laying ahead of me!

Then I took a cab back cos' the interview ended at like 9:30. Like fake i'm very rich, but i So wanted to watch Ren Wo Ao You!

So...yeah...reached home at 9:45...caught 15 mins of the show...talked to my mum for like half and hr...and here I am.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING NOT STUDYING?

But hey, i think I made a good choice meeting up with this boss. He was so nice that he said he can help introduce us to his friends in Shanghai if we are interested in another field.

Hmm...okie...I think I should go to bed soon...or maybe...not so soon...i'm torn...only thing I know is that I BETTER study. AND STUDY EFFICIENTLY...cos' i'm lagging so far behind!

BANZAI SHUHUI!!!!!!!!!!!

And people, please scold me, remind me...do anything to make me study!!!

Thank you very muchie!

Elated! (Beyond words)

2004-11-10T22:41:00.000+08:00

I was so high for the entire day I'm starting to get "tired" of being high! Haha...all right. I better pen it down before I forget!

Rights...woke up this morning to da bao breakfast then it was time to do my "research" on the company! Spent about an hour looking through the website, hurriedly put on some make up...then it was time to go off for interview! Spent some time trying to settle in and think about what I should say...then it was time!

I was rather surprised to see another 5 students in the meeting room besides me and another NCS girl. It turned out that these students were all from business and they responded to an ad put up by V-Kool for an Assistant Country Manager. Wow...we didn't know that...but well.

Two ladies were in charge of interviewing us...I thought it was a rather enjoyable experience. Yes, I was nervous. Yes, I said something COCK right at the start. I actually said I had "no choice" when she asked why we chose the company...OMG. Of cos' I tried really hard to make it up later. But this was my first experience being interviewed in a group and it is actually alot more relaxing. U get to hear from others, have ample time to formulate and think through your answers...so...well...

The interview lasted for about an hr and a half. I came back, had lunch...was talking to my mum about how there was this over confident and irritating and RICH guy(drives mercedes) who apparently had LOADS and LOADS of rather impressive interactions with China, has business dealings in various countries...took up most of the interview time...and even after the manager had hinted that they were looking out for an opportunity to groom someone who might not have any other means of venturing into the market...he never did gave up! What an ass...I think even the manager was abit put off by him, kept asking him to stop. Haha...

Well well, after bitching to my mum...I received a call from NCS...and YEEAH YEAH!!!! I can't really believe it...but I was selected! Out of 7 people!!! Haha...I was cocky for a while...but after serious thought...I really dun think I did that well, given that I was shaking and stammering abit...but I guess my previous experience did me good!

Whatever it is...I was so happy I wanted to yell out loud! (I kind of did actually ;P) Then it was time to go for lecture (which lasted only half an hr), then I went off to Kimage for my haircut!

Now i know the difference between a $30 and $12 or $6 haircut. I really really appreciated the hairdresser...cos he took about at least an hr..and I thought he REALLY REALLY put in like alot of effort into my hair! The way he kept snipping, making sure that it's even...on hindsight, it might just be because it's been a LONG LONG time since I had a proper haircut. (QB doesn't count)I dun really know what to think of my haircut, just that it's got a much thicker fringe, like JingWen and Yilin in Ren Wo Ao You. Haha...that made me rather pleased...just that...I kept wishing that my face didn't have so much meat and fat! ;P

Eh...how come my entry doesn't sound as happy as it should be...but I really am...SUPER SUPER HAPPY!

but there's this nagging thing at the back of my head...better snap out of all these soon and start SERIOUS mugging!

Jia you jia you jia you! U can make it!

Can't resist the pictures...;)

2004-11-10T13:58:00.000+08:00

You want a sweet guy. Who'ld take you anywhere.
Like Japan!!! Wow I would like a guy like that
too:) Also he looks so cute in japanese
clothing:)

Who's Perfect For You??? (Cute Anime Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah i'm cute! =P

2004-11-10T13:56:00.000+08:00

Your so cute anyone would think your cute. Even the
grown ups:) Probaly any boy would run up to you
with flowers and cute stuffed animals like
you;) Just look at you. Your adorable:)

What Type Of Girl Are You???(Amazing Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Great party!

2004-11-07T01:12:00.000+08:00

Hey...just realised that I haven't been updating much!

Am back not too long ago from Fellie's potluck party at Mel's condo's function room! It was pretty fun!

1. There were LOTS of food!
2. We played quite a few games!

Haha...there was the pick and card and eat food game (where we managed to clear quite alot of the food), the Truth, Eat or Bodypart game...HAHA...Dun worry girls, I scrubbed the back of my neck! Though I must say that N is really sporting! And finally, the "highlight" of Heart Attack!!! Hahaha...

About my last week...SIGH. I've been such a PIG. Eating, Sleeping and Shopping...doing ALL sorts of things BESIDES studying. SO sucky. I know I should be worried...what with all these modules which I've no confidence in...

If i'll die...I definitely dug my own grave! Huo Gai! ;P

Oh...by the ways, last week, besides for the family saga...I found out something about my health.

Yes, I've always suspected it...but it's now "confirmed".

I've HIGH cholestrol.

VERY HIGH in fact. Shan't put the exact numbers here lest I scare all my good friends here...but after a phonecall with C (She's really worried for me man! Haha...) It has really added a ++++++++++ point for me to control my diet and to really start doing some exercise regularly.

It's only after I start noting down what I eat...that I realised how integrated all the bad foods are in my life. I mean, I could easily substitute a meal with a slice of cake or some ice-cream or biscuits. But now I'm SUPPOSED to be banned from such foods...so...er...honestly I'm not like TOTALLY not eating...it's just that I'm alot more conscious.

So what used to be a whole slice become one mouth. Even if I've got cravings for ice-cream...I'll try to curb it and substitute it with something else.

And my dear CC was so cute...she immediately sms me the next day to do some moving! I love her!

So my dear friends...do TRY not to tempt me by offering me good food k? I know you guys love me...=)

But yeah...dun make me feel so left out by BANNING me from anything unhealthy! Just make sure that my portions are small! I'll promise to take care too! I still wanna live till at least 70! =)

Let's jia you! At least...TRY and jia you...ARRGH...$(*%&(*#$&

SUPER slacker Hui

Amusing

2004-11-05T11:08:00.000+08:00

Hey people...check this out! It's quite lame = funny!

http://www.themanwhofellasleep.com/horoscopes.html

And i'm Iron-FE???
To strangers you appear lustrous or metallic, with a greyish tinge, but with close acquaintances you are open and vivacious, always the life and soul of the party. You have recently been disappointed by a man from abroad, but do not worry: he will not bring your atomic weight below 55.845 (2). Despite being a relatively abundant element in the universe, you never fear that you are taken for granted, however now might be a good time to remind friends and family about your true worth. It will rain all year. You will not rust, but you may get wet.

Haha...i'm not exactly the soul of a party but I think I'm rather "open" to both strangers and friends alike...there's no man from abroad...but HEY! the part about my weight not being able to go below 55.845....HOW COME THAT'S SO ACCURATE?!?! *(&#$*(&@#

haha....

Slacker Hui...signing off!

home sweet home?

2004-11-04T08:13:00.000+08:00

After "suffering" under the cruelties of my term papers...I decided to go home last night to "take a break".

But sigh...ended up making my mum "upset" cos' she felt like i was defending my father.

Oh man...it was all over the square piece of thing that holds the bread package together!

I guess what sparked off the series of cursing was because I didn't help my mum clear the table after dinner. I admit that was my fault...but my mum didn't ask me to help...instead she just told me how irritating my father was cos' he ate the bread before any of them did. Then she started to complain about how irking it is that he manages to eat up the plastic piece too.

I told her not to be so angry cos' it's bad for her health...and that my father probably didn't mean to lose that square piece.

THEN she flared up.

OMG...what wrong did I do man?

In fact, I found the square piece of plastic on the floor later. Apparently my father could have NOT tied it up properly, and my mother had flung it to the floor...but still???

My mum then threw up this big fuss about me defending my father, and subsequently said quite alot of hurtful things...which included things like "why bother coming back home when you're so useless and not contributing"...

blah and blah...so many times I wanted to rebutt...but I just decided to turn a deaf hear.

And I'm glad I did.

Wanted to go to bed immediately at 10...but my brother stopped and asked me about what happened.

I'm so glad I had the chance to talk to him...I think my brother is so sensible...and actually alot more brave than I am.

I am indeed very lucky to be staying in KR...to be able to be "out" of all the "miseries" of my home.

I think...being away for so long...has made me forgotten what made me decide to "leave" in the first place.

My brother is right...there IS a problem with our family...and it's no point trying to deny the existence of this problem.

Thing is...things are unlikely to change for the better...cos'...of the characters of my parents.

After a talk with my father a few weeks ago...I FINALLY understood why he was such a father.

Why is it that he has received so much education, learnt so much, yet contributed nothing to the family. Cos' he always thinks that he's meant for something better. That he should pursue his own desires to fulfil his own dreams. At the expense of his family, and to the extend of "borrowing" from others...with no intention of "returning"...because he believes that those who are willing to lend...trusts him enough to take the risk...and he doesn't want to make a promise to "return"...cos' in the event that he cannot...it'll be a broken promise.

OK. So that's the reason why he can go on business ventures, not provide for the home for most of his lifetime...and technically "live off" others.

My brother actually did this "crazy thing" of talking to my parents...trying to make them understand why my mother always seem to be picking on my father, about how much stress and grievances my mother has been going through her entire life...and telling my father to stop trying to portray the image of a "loving and concerned" father in front of our teachers...and to either help out by earning A BIT of income...or to do housework since he's always at home.

But it didn't turn out well. My father does things in spurts. When he's happy he can do the dishes for a week...when he's not...he'll not even wash his own cup after drinking coffee and leave it there till the next time he needs it.

I'm not sure if my father cares. I would really like to think that he does. Despite not helping out in the maintanance of the family, showing his concern by talking to our teachers without our knowing or by reading our private letters and diaries...

I don't know. I've grew up listening to my mother complaining about my father...I've seen ugly stuff...gave up hope in marriages...but now...the only thing that comes to mind is that...my parents are old...it's time for me to do something for them rather than they feeding me.

I should learn to tolerate everything...even if i think i'm right...I've got to give in...and try even harder to keep my family together, without offending any party.

I also knew...that not only I felt the pain of such a family...my brother had been suffering too. And he had been really sensible about it. He even posted a question that put me to shame.

He asked if I've thought of who I want to be...what kind of things I hoped to achieve...

Maybe I had...but I've not dared to think after a while. I've lost the courage to even dream...

The only thing I could tell my brother is that I want to get a job...get my salary...and bring my mother to East Europe...for she has done so so so much for me...

I so want to cry...for the woes of my family...for the fact that both my brother and I know that there are other families with problems worse than us but we can't help but feel sad...

Where am I?

I really don't know what to say.

Am I afraid to think???

I know I am...

FAT

2004-11-02T14:28:00.000+08:00

I know i should not harp on this issue any longer but there's something which I really wanna say.

I honestly dun think that I'm ugly. In fact, I think that I am quite pretty and have the potential to be Pretty! really...

I never thought I could get fatter than I am now...but honestly, a few weeks of indulgent lifestyle which comprises of sleep after breakfast and immobility...I've really became fat. And it's rather depressing to see my fats accumulating around my tummy and my body and how the face just gets rounder day by day... (cos' the mirror is like right beside me so I keep looking at myself). But somehow, there's nothing i seem to be able to do to stop it!

Cos' I can't give up eating. And I think I've kind of started to consume MORE junk food esp.

It's amazing how quickly one can accumulate such fats. Now i believe all my friends when they say they've become fatter.

Cos' fat and skinny is matter of relativity.

Like how I'm fatter NOW then I was last week!

So even the skinniest girl has the right to say that she's put on weight cos' her Little tummy is showing.

It really happpens.

OMG...what am I going to do???

Presentation

2004-11-02T14:19:00.000+08:00

My last few days were basically spent by reading materials, trying to sense out of these materials, and typing them out.

Completed my History of Imperial China's term paper after working on it for nearly 20 hours non-stop.

Had about an hr and a half of sleep on Mon, then I had to work on my presentation.

I was rather proud of my presentation really. I thought the points were consize. I knew what I wanted to say, I've even put them down on my paper...I was confident! Happy...and I was even smiling to myself cos' the previous presentator had sweaty palms!

THEN...it happened. I really didn't know how exactly. I wasn't even nervous, but when it was my turn, I just kind of didn't know what to say, didn't follow the slides, and happily rattled on...got lost somewhere in between, got stuck, couldn't find the information when it was actually just a point on the slides. Then I guess I got so nervous I could literally feel the blood draining out of my face.

My vision was blurred, I knew that I was getting ready to faint. I could hear my voice in my ears...I couldn't breathe properly...but I told myself, Shuhui, you got to go on...it's gonna be over soon!

So I tried to stay calm finished up rather hurriedly, then headed straight for my seat.

It was then I realised that I broke out in sweat...all over my body. And my abdominen was in great pain.

Seriously...what's wrong with me? Do I have a blocked artery somewhere??? Or is my case of stressed-induced gastric juices excretion getting out of hand?

Doctor?

Help...

ball?

2004-11-01T01:16:00.000+08:00

I know i should be spending time on my term paper instead but I just had to post this.

I feel like i'm becoming a ball.

Hahaha...it's true! U guys will know it when you all next see me...that is...if u all recognize me.

HAHA...;P

Just a thought

2004-10-29T08:02:00.000+08:00

I've friends around me who are by nature very friendly and happy people. Therefore they attract people of the opposite sex rather easily, so they may never stay single for too long. It may be difficult to comprehend initially but I think all my friends love seriously. For they're always in pain should any break up happens.

And of cos' I've friends who's got so much passion, they love rather easily, but these people are seemingly constantly in emotional turmoil. In pain when their loved ones are in agony, elated cos' their loved ones are happy.

Then there's me. Who's hiding away behind a wall or a barricade or something.

=)

Jia you for my term papers!

It's not very funny...but I hope I can manage it still.

2000 words...here I come!

Nice weather

2004-10-28T08:00:00.000+08:00

I am fighting the urge to not head back to bed...the weather is too good to NOT sleep...haha...what a dilemma I'm facing.

Never felt SO SO reluctant to wake up this morning.

Rain rain...go away?

Spooked - by 2 vivid dreams

2004-10-26T06:43:00.000+08:00

It has been extrememly comfortable to sleep the past 2 nights...but I've had terrible dreams it's scary.

All right, Sun's night one wasn't so bad. Just that it's so vivid. I dreamt of many people, friends from st nicks, hwachong, even my hall! I dreamt that K was involved with QW. A very unlikely pair but nonetheless so vivid I almost thought it was real! Weird thing is I haven't even talked to QW for such a long time. Why her of all people? As for romance with sexual connotations...the last one I watched was 2046 which was quite some time ago, how come now then dream such a weird dream???

Last night's one was a lot worse. I dreamt of me, flaring up in front of K, KT and SM. Then walking out of them cos' we couldn't stick to our initial plan and refused to join them for something else. (Throwing a tantrum is something I've done before, and something which is likely to happen again in spite of my age!!!)

Then I was walking back past the playground to my house, I mewed at this HUGE cat-like thing (which I somehow think it could be a girl) but well, cos' of my mewing at it on the slide, it came pouncing on me and it was rather horrifying cos' I needed help to get rid of it! But the worse thing was me meeting a ghost in the lift! And it wasn't just me alone! I was in the lift with 3 other girls, and we all avoided this space in the lift cos' we felt a presence there. But later 2 other girls clothed in the same clothes wanted to come in. One managed to get in when the other didn't. But we told her to squeeze in still, and so the "thing" was displaced and it ended up behind me! It was a huge flow of gas kind of feeling, but it clung on to me...all the way until I was on the staircase back home. I was REALLY REALLY scared. But nothing I did managed to drive it away. Until I quietened down, found "peace" in my heart..and I knelt down and prayed. Then I felt it leaving me...

It's REALLY spooky cos' it's the first time I've dreamt of a ghost without a form (which makes it even more scary) and the setting is so real I really believed it! I even repeated the story to my mum after I went back home! And...I probably would continue to dream if not for the fact that I set my alarm at 5:40 this morning. Of cos' I didn't wake up that early but well...didn't feel like going back to my bed again when I finally woke up.

What is my dream trying to tell me? That I shouldn't be so angsty and to calm down so that I'll be at peace and be in good health? Or that I've done too many things that I should be guilty about and it's time to repent?

Or is it time for me to enter a religion?

I dunno...=(

Hmm...any advice? Who knows how to interpret dreams?

Okay...back to my essay outline. Jia you Shuhui!

What kind of a girl were u?

2004-10-26T01:22:00.000+08:00

Girly Girl

What kind of little girl were YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

The insecure side of me...

2004-10-25T01:50:00.000+08:00

I am me. With all my insecurities. But I am me.

I'm sorry to have made some people upset again (as usual)...haha...I tend to do alot of things like that.

Perhaps I'm someone who actually needs a lot of attention but am afraid of getting the attention.

And I would like to apologise to all that have read and am sick and tired of my nonsense. I do admit that I lapse into this phase of self-pity far too frequently. In fact, I dislike myself like this too.

I guess it's just a matter of adjusting my xin1 tai4 ba.

Haha, I've the weakness of being an escapist. Like I'ld prefer to run away from my problems then to confront them. Which doesn't help things cos' ignoring it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. ;P

I think i'm actually very self-centred. Like how I tend to be over-sensitive and think that my friends are upset with me when in actual fact they are not. But luckily i clear all these misunderstandings and doubts almost immediately now...i guess that's a change for the better. =)

Had my last spa treatment package today. It was an oil massage...wow...think I'm really not used to it...i think I almost BROKE under the strength of the petite girl...my shoulders and neck was REALLY stiff so it was quite uncomfortable initially! But well...when she was massaging my head I think I actually fell asleep!

Haha...I must train to be a better tai tai and start to appreciate these massages man! ;P

And yeah...Made strawberry and banana milkshake! Wow...full of goodness! hahah...and MEL's party rocked! I had loads of fun eating good food and playing german bridge and basically just screaming and laughing my head off! =)

But there WAS one thing that bothered me. When the boss said, "you are just an A-blocker".

I was rather guilt-stricken.

It's true, it's my fault, for I chose to stay away and to stay in my comfort zone. I haven't been socialising much and talking to ppl whom I haven't seen in a while. I dunno if I wld have things to say...so...I chose to stay away.

I shouldn't have I know...but i'm feeling so insecure nowadays I'm also at quite a loss. So...when they dun ask me over, I choose to stay put.

Hmm...it's ok. It's over. But i can try and improve things another time.

Yeah...should try and concentrate on my work!!! 2 essays to be done...and no research was done! haha...tight schedule!

Jia you!

2004-10-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

yeah...I know I shouldn't have posted the last entry. Actually I know very well that I'm fortunate enough already.

I've got my family with me, not plagued by serious illnesses, living comfortably... I'm fat cos' I've got more than enough good food to eat, so what if i'm not the cream of the crop? At least I'm getting a university education. I even get to travel alot and I'm going to Europe at the end of the year!

So why should I be feeling unhappy and all right? I must be mad. I guess it's that "feel sorry for yourself" syndrome right? It's a human weakness and since I'm human, i'm no exception.

I know I should be contented with what I have...and not compare myself with the more talented, or luckier ones. I know it, but sometimes, I can't help it. I dunno how to explain it...but probably...just angst against others who are more endowed but nonetheless, no more satisfied than I am. AND most importantly...it's anger against myself! For feeling so worthless, and being so useless...and for...the so many things I haven't done or haven't done in accordance to standards, which of cos' are imposed by myself.

I dunno if all these make sense. But I know that my friends love me. It's more like "why am I not putting in more effort?". I dunno...if I can put all that I feel down. But insecurity has always been an issue. Really. Being in this society that idolises the slim. I cannot help but be affected by all the jearing ever since I was young. It really dented my self confidence a great deal.

But in my sec sch years, I had my results to be proud of, and my best friend to give me love and support.

J1, my loving boyfriend to give me confidence.

But now I dunno what I have to show.

Was watching the documentary of the missing chinese girl last night. And my mum was telling me that I really have to take care of myself overseas. I know her worries.

Actually I think being "missing" or in a coma is one of the worst things. Cos' you put the living in constant trauma and uncertainty. In contrast, death is easier to handle. Yes it's painful definitely, but at least it's something which you must come to terms with, and hopefully recover from it.

It's a morbid thought, but we really never know what might happen. I of cos' would wish to live till at least 60, but in the event that I don't...

I hope that all my friends out there, will remember me fondly. I know I can be quite a brat. I might have been a disappointment to some, inflicted pain unknowingly at one point of other...but I hope that well, I will be remembered by the living.

It's a selfish thought...but it's always nice to know that I'm being "thought of".

Hahaha...a weird entry I know. But then again, I've been acting weird lately so...haha...

(wait, just realised that some might mistaken me of having suicidal thoughts, but NO NO. it's more like...i'm worried somehow. Though I've told Joyce that IF you're fated to die, it can happen anywhere anyhow, but taking the plane to europe, and being in a foreign land for a month, flying on MORE planes within Europe, or the possibility of going away for an internship for a year...actually all these HUGE changes scare me a bit honestly...so...yeah....i'm meaning, IF an accident happen...i won't kill myself...no worries man.)

Tired...dead tired

2004-10-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

I'm tired. Both mentally and physically. The first comment I've got from everyone I've met today testifies to the above statement.

"You're very tired issit? Didn't sleep?"

I admit that I'm tired. Lucky I'm not tired of living.

Yet.

After finally completing my essay at 7:45pm last night. I hurriedly rushed down to Victoria Theatre. Supposed to watch The Visit of the Tai Tai with KT and K. Told them I'll wait outside till the intermission...reached at about 8:35...then I sat down and started to reminise. This place has a special place in my heart. As I sat outside alone with Sir Stamford Raffles...I suddenly felt lonely. REALLY lonely. A feeling I've not had...or at least haven't confronted in a while.

I've had happy and memorable moments on VT's stage. I was proud to be an actress, I got to know wonderful people and shared beautiful experiences. I also remembered the tears of joy and satisfaction which I have shed in the second year. But there is also the aftermath of having to go home after huang cheng alone. It was a feeling of despodence.

I think...if one day my mum should leave me. I'll really be left alone in this world.

I've been thinking, I'm not in love with my books because I simply do not spend enough time with them. I'm not making an extra effort with my friends cos...the last time I've had a telephone conversation with a friend was probably half a year ago? And yes...I've no potential lover...EXCEPT. The TV. Yes, I think i'm in a relationship with the TV. I'm starting to keep to myself it's scary. Where's the once noisy and bubbly girl who makes the first move to strike a conversation? Now I only see a girl who's happy eating lunch alone at Arts. Who's hoping that no one will notice her presence so that she can be left alone...so that she won't risk feeling left out.

Cos' she's already VERY felt out.

It's a mixed feeling. I both want that to happen cos' I'm actively hiding away, YET at the same time, I don't really want it to happen but i'm not doing anything about it.

Maybe it's this darn weather. Used to love cos' the rain makes it so nice to sleep. But I just complained about the rain to my mum...and now I know why. It's too gloomy...I dunno it I can take it.

Some people are already very slim, but they complain of being fat.

Some people score 80s and above out of 100 but they complain because others score 90 or if they had made a careless mistake or if they fall short of being on the dean's list.

Some people think that they are unloved when they have people who are willing to sacrifice their lives and fight for their well-being.

So where does it leave the FAT, UGLY girl who scores an average of 60?

I dunno. I dun dare to think. It's a matter of expectations I guess. I'm not trying to be complainy. In fact...I dun wanna think any more because I believe that humans are greedy.

We are never satisfied with what we really have. And the more we compare, the more envious we are of what Others have...

We are MORE but we are feeling like we have LESS. Is the world progressing? I'm really not sure...

Friends, do give me a hug when you next see me k? I think I'm in need of some love now.

Maybe in dire need.

I feel like i'm a fish on dry land now. Just that I'm a confused fish who had been crawling towards the land on my own accord.

Maybe this is what "you reap what you sow" means.

Will happiness come back to me?

Do I have friends? Or rather, have I been a friend?

Horrifying questions...but time to answer them.

Pain pain

2004-10-21T08:27:00.000+08:00

I've actually had a bad day yesterday.
Cos' 1. I kind of "wasted" 2 hours waiting at my dentist's cos' I forgot to bring my notes to read. How smart.
2. I walked the long way to a bus stop, and was scolded by a motorcyclist cos' I hesitated when I was crossing the road. I wanted to let him go first but he stopped to ask, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" in a super irritated voice. The only thing I could do then was to say sorry.

What a F&^*ED up day.

To think that i was looking forward to getting my retainers.

For those who didn't know. I actually put on braces in my secondary school days. And being the silly girl I am. I lost my retainers shortly after the removal of my braces...and as I see my teeth shifting...I started to get scared. So when I saw my dentist again 2 weeks ago. I told him about my concerns...luckily he said my teeth can still be saved by retainers. So I made one for my upper jaw.

And I was told to wear it the whole day for a month.

It's then I recalled the pain I had to endure for my once very neat teeth. It's actually very uncomfortable wearing the retainers.

How fast people forget. I only remembered the "fun" of the braces. Now that I'm wearing retainers...I can't chew very well...and it so damn hurts when I put them back.

The things people go through in the name of "beauty".

But well..I guess it's just a matter of getting used to. After having my braces on for about 20 mins...it's not so "painful" anymore. Guess i'm quite numb to it.

Till the next time I remove it to eat something.

I just hope...that I'll be disciplined and determined to last it out for a month. And hopefully my 2 BIG front teeth will shift in by then.

Perhaps I'll lose some weight too! But not being able to eat too much and too fast.

Haha...

Losing the battle

2004-10-19T16:10:00.000+08:00

I'm beginning to suspect if i'm the reincarnation of Sloth.

Slept after breakfast on Monday just because it was raining and thus VERY comfortable conditions to be sleeping under my nice comforter. Best. I slept and slept until I ALMOST refused to go and work. So much for wanting to work more on Mon so that I can work less on Thurs in order to catch up with the MANY deadlines which I've gotta meet this week.

It happened again this morning. I went to sleep once again after breakfast..and DID end up late for class. Hmm...

STILL. I've got the cheek to fall asleep in class! Both during Lecture...and the super short micro tutorial when she was trying to explain something not within the textbook!

I win..plus the MANY deadlines which I haven't been doing anything about. Not to mention my grand plans of preparing for the exams.

What's wrong with me?

I really don't know.

Major turn of events

2004-10-18T21:09:00.000+08:00

Yeah it's true. I was supposed to be one a backpacking trip to Europe with Wenxu and Joyce. But Wenxu has got a golden opportunity to get involved in a research project which made lead to an accelerated Phd! Of cos' she should grab the chance!

Therefore...it's now just down to the two of us. The two whom doesn't know France, doesn't know French, Doesn't know Spanish...doesn't know anything about Europe...HELP! haha...and the domestic flights that we have booked for 3...plus the hostel beds...

Hmm...anyone cares to join us on our Europe backpacking trip? I'm not kidding here..rather serious...this invitation goes out to those not in Singapore too!

Itinerary: Singapore-Paris-London-Paris-Belgium-Lyon-Geneva-Barcelona-Rome-Florence-Pisa-Venice-Paris-Singapore.

Sounds good right? All within a month! 1st Dec to 31st!!!

So...who's interested??? =)

Made DINNER!

2004-10-18T21:01:00.000+08:00

Din know what came over me yesterday. Perhaps I was kind of getting bored at home...and after racking my brains as to where we should go for dinner, I've finally decided that I should make pasta! How difficult can it get man? Besides, it's been like IONS since I've actually cooked something!

So I went about hopping around happily in the kitchen. Of cos' my mum helped me quite a bit...she laughed at the way I was taking so long trying to peel the onions or cut the carrots...Haha...

I got a bit jittery when I was cooking though...but all turned out fine! I loved the sauce! I was so happy I was really skipping all about! BUT...humpf...to think that my mum and bro was like, yeah...it's actually cos' the sauce is nice. Yeah lah...true, the Domino sauce is quite nice! But I made the effort to fry the garlic, onion and hotdogs plus prawns and added alot of vege like carrots and tomatoes to make it more nutritious mah!!! ;P

All in all, I enjoyed the little meal I've whipped up. Pasta with super creamy sauce plus creamy campbell soup and...oh...the eggs with tomatoes were done by my mum! ;P Hahaha...didn't think that pasta would take me over an hour to prepare?! I'm really one with little patience with it comes to cooking...sigh...but I wanna learn to make nice food!

One day I will I think! =)

2004-10-18T19:15:00.000+08:00

Eating disorder

I'm beginning to think that I've some eating disorder problems. Haha...okay...fine, i'm exaggerating. It's only tonight that I'm acting weird.

Had dinner, not satisfied, ate a bag of chips...not enough, ate yoghurt, okay...abit the full...but I just ate an orange.

Dunno why, but I just felt like eating.

Hope this'll only last one night. ;P

Proud of my little brother

2004-10-16T22:50:00.000+08:00

All right...maybe my brother ain't so little (he's 18 already), but still, I'm very proud of him.

When I came home last week, I saw him studying in his room.

Next morning, way before I decided to crawl out of bed, he was already practising his maths sums.

And exams are like a month away. I mean, it may be nothing to the muggers out there...but it's amazing if I start studying MORE than 2 weeks in advance. More likely it's ONE day in advance.

I'm so screwed i'm not fit to be a student.

AND...I heard from my mum, that my brother refuses to eat FRUITS, cos' he said that he's not been exercising, so he doesn't want to eat excessively.

He only had his first meal at about 3pm today...on the contrary, I've had a huge breakfast, a large ice-cream cone, one sweet potato, other snacks and lot of drinks.

GREAT.

Not like I've been doing exercise.

Sigh...I should really be learning from him. And not typing in my blog right? Wasted my day away again.

tsk tsk

1st physical signs of aging

2004-10-16T16:10:00.000+08:00

I have been feeling "old" for some time already. But now it's SHOWING!

1. When I went for my facial, I was told of the "fine lines" around my eyes...

2. My mum actually plucked a strand of WHITE hair from my head last Thurs!!!!! WHITE hair! I was so traumatised for a while...I really hope I won't have to keey dyeing my poor quality hair from now on.

Hmm...I must try to do something to stall this aging process. I'm sure there's a way. Right?

2046

2004-10-16T03:18:00.000+08:00

Just came back not too long ago from JP. The first midnight movie I can remember watching.

Dunno how I should feel about the show exactly. Others seem to like it so much. On the contrary, I don't exactly feel like SUPER happy after watching this show like most of the other movies.

Other movies make me laugh heartily, or cry sorrowfully.

But not this one. I just sat there, admiring the filming...and feeling the show.

Yes, surprisingly, I feel like I've kind of understood the show. Maybe not in the exact sense the director wants to portray, but at least I've my own interpretation and I didn't come out feeling all bewildered.

I could actually feel the emotions of the characters, and understand them. Cos' the story is just about life. About the various love stories that happen all around us.

*note: please don't continue reading if you wish to watch the show and interpret it on your own. This will contain alot of my own feelings*

Tony Leong: He's just a man who goes along with "the flow". He once loved deeply...thought he loved again, but was probably only trying to find memories of the old love on the new girl. He played the field, broke the hearts of others...thought he fell in love again, but learnt that love is a matter of timing, and that when he can't force things to happen, the next best thing is to give up on it, and hope that the other party is happy and doing well.

It may not be known who he really loves and who he doesn't. Do all the subsequent girls that he falls for simply reminds him of Su Li Zhen or is it just because these women were with him at the right time, when he needed someone in his life? Does it really matter? Fact is that he had shared a part of his life with these women. And it will always remain that way. I liked the last part of the show alot. Something about being on a train, heading towards a foggy future.

I can so imagine a lot of people are like him.

Zhang Ziyi: To me, she's the tragedy of the show. It's apparent that she's so in love with Tony. But he broke her heart time and again, despite the fact that she has made a lot of compromises. She allows him to have affairs with other women, only request is that he doesn't bring them back to the hotel. But he didn't agree. She had no choice but to break up, and led a life as usual, sleeping with other men...but only on PURPOSE, in hope that Tony will be jealous. But it didn't happen. She dwidled into someone with low confidence, looked for Tony one last time before she left for Singapore. Gave him all the $10 notes which she had been faithfully keeping, hoping that he wouldn't use them to pay the bill, hoping that he would agree to be with her one last time, just before she leaves...but no...her hopes were dashed again and again...
She's truly a sad character. She loved, but men treated her as a "fun" thing. She was "hurt" by Tony, just because she loved him but he didn't.I thought that in the end, Tony might choose her, cos' she's the one who has loved him so openly for so long. She never forgotten about him, but so what? He had never really thought of spending his entire life with her. So she's destined to be a sad character.

I hope...I won't be like her.

Faye Wong: She's a very fortunate girl. Though she faced strong objections by her father initially, she eventually managed to be with her loved one 6 years later. Apparently the guy loves her just as much. And her father eventually gave in.

I hope...to be like her.

But I guess...sometimes, we can't really control love. Who we love may not love us, but who we don't may love us so...such that we end up having to hurt them badly.

Sigh...I dunno what to make out of all these. But it's almost 4am in the morning...Think it's time for bed!

Night...

SLACKER!

2004-10-14T16:01:00.000+08:00

Yeah man, i'm one BIG FAT slacker.

Thing is, I woke up pretty early with the intention of completing my Micro Homework.

Had a super heavy breakfast, then something apparently went very wrong with my system. I tried to run an anti-virus scan...so whilst waiting for it to complete scanning...I fell asleep.

Yes, I slept. LIKE A PIG. woke up once only to go back to sleep. So of cos' ended up late for my micro lect.

abt 45 mins late. without bringing my notes too. Cos' I was in such a hurry.

Somemore i had a HORRIBLE daymare!

I dreamt that I was travelling with 2 other friends I think, then I met this little boy. We hit it off quite well, but I later found out that he's not human! He's a ghost! And I was getting weaker because of him and my friends and I had to try means and ways to get him to leave willingly. Cos' he was kind of determined to follow me. Actually i'm not sure if the dream really was like that, I could only remember snippets of it now...I only remember alot of water, alot of dirt, and alot of tears and fears...

Oh no...now that I've typed it out...I sure hope it's not some premonition or something...I mean...I AM TRAVELLING with 2 girl friends soon...

*shivers*

Dun like my blog...

2004-10-13T09:59:00.000+08:00

yeah...I still dun really like the layout of my blog. Will try and spend a few hours on it AFTER i've completed my assignments. Now I've only got time for complains! Bwahaha...;P

Took the health screening blood test today. Thought I was pretty smart to take premptive measures by telling the nurse that I fainted once.

I'm really glad cos' this time round there'll be no wheelchair or a bump on my head for fainting DURING the blood taking.

Haha...so all went well. Except that I'm $162.40 poorer cos' I decided that I wanna test my liver, kidney and blah blah as well...cos' I dun really wanna take my blood so many times.

Oh for those who were wondering about the posting of my photo out of the blue....I FINALLY found a photo hosting site so I was just testing out. Not much recent and NICE photos...so I chose my birthday photo(in which I think I was prettiest within this year) with all the pretty babes from St Nicks! (PrabsDaCock, stop drooling)

Yeah...seems like it works! ;p I like Hello!

Had a very fun dinner last night! Played this silly game with the guys sitting at my table. We're supposed to shout a word at the top of our voices, screaming as loud as we can...but I just can't help but laugh convulsively. It was HILARIOUS seeing a table of "crazy" people screaming "HI", "HI", "HI"...I can't help but laugh. Haven't laughed so hard that tears came down and my stomach ached. =)

Have been thinking a bit about KR recently. I'm a lousy final year. I admit it. I'm not involved in any IHG. I didn't sign up for any comms. I'm ONLY in KRX by default. I dun even keep in touch with Hall Production even though I'm the scriptwriter.

SIGH...When everyone is getting involved still. I can't even handle my own studies.

This really isn't what I wanted. At least not when I was a first/second year and looking at all my seniors receiving awards for their contributions to KR.

Hmm...but since it's a fact that I'm a qualified phamtom, I should just concentrate on doing my homework!

Ciao.

Youjie's Birthday Party

2004-10-12T22:13:00.000+08:00

I wondered why I haven't been blogging. Quite a few things had happened!

Like last Sat was Youjie's Birthday Party!!!

Happy birthday Youjie! =)
The durian sago ROCKS! ;P

Had a very interesting trip from Orchard to Pasir Ris. The stingy pok in me made me suggest to my twin that we take the bus.

So 3 bus rides took us like a good one and a half hours.

But I truly enjoyed the time we had together! We talked about many things. And I brought up this Jap movie I chanced upon one fateful night.

It's called "Secret". And it was a rather haunting movie. A mother and daughter got involved in an accident, the mother's soul occupied the body of the daughter, and so she had to lead a life of double identity.

She loved her husband so, but there are things which made their love incomplete. They could never make love. Cos' the body belongs to the daughter.

And as she got more involved in school, ECAs, the husband felt neglected. That she had a new leash of life. But he doesn't.

So in the end, he decided to "let his wife go" by addressing her as his daughter.

The wife was devastated. And then it appeared that the daughter's soul came back! The 2 souls shared one body, one taking over the other after a sleep....and they communicated via letters and video tapes.

One day, after the mother had eased the daughter back into her life. She left.

But it was until the daughter's wedding day, did the husband find out that it had been his wife all the while!

But it was all for the best I guess. She had no choice but to lead her life as the daughter. Not his wife. I mean, what will others think? It's like incest isn't it?

I liked the show alot. And the best thing is, my twin watched it too!

Wat a nice coincidence. =)

Love?

2004-10-12T22:06:00.000+08:00

Haha...this must be the nth time I've used this title but it has always been something which I've "wondered" about.

Rushed back from work on Monday to catch the last episode of Liang Shan Bo Yu Zhu Ying Tai (the butterfly lovers). It's not like I really like the show but since it's the last episode I thought I should just watch it.

The show was rather cheesy with all the mushy lines and tears and all...but surprisingly, I wasn't very touched. Probably cos' this is such a "well-known" story already...but in the end, I DID cry.

In fact I cried pretty hard. I cried cos' Ma Wen Cai was devastated to see his love enter Liang Shan Bo's tomb.

Yes, it's true that Mr Ma is a villian. To get his woman, he has done pretty bad things to harm others, he resorts to underhand means, he had indirectly destroyed others' happiness.

But no matter what BAD he had done, he loved Miss Zhu a lot. He really did. But that's of no use. Cos' Miss Zhu doesn't have eyes for him at all.

I so pitied him.

Really. It's not easy to find someone whom you love, and who is willing to love you back.

So if you've found it. Do cherish it.

2004-10-12T09:27:00.000+08:00

I shall try again!!!

2004-10-09T01:52:00.000+08:00

Devastated

That's how I'm really feeling now.

Quite a lot has happened lately. Let me start from the top.

I've sent an email out to NOC enquiring about the status of my application last weekend. On Monday, they sent me an email asking me to go for a third interview on Weds.

I　agreed. I　thought I did ok. I asked some questions, had a nice conversation. Then they called me up in the afternoon to tell me that I　was selected.

Then a whole whirl of emotions settled in. I really do so Want the opportunity. But questions regarding my module mapping, my graduation, my family and friends...and whether or not I can secure an internship placement? The additional cost??? Oh gosh, I was stressed. However, all these worries were kind of more or less "settled" or at least "cleared" today at the NCS briefing...but it's kind of worrying that I'll be away for the WHOLE of December cos' there are alot of things waiting to be settled...and I May not have the luxury of settling it all before Dec.

In short. I'm pretty screwed cos' of the Europe backpacking trip. Cos' there's alot of things to be done. Company interview, placement, medical check up, ABF application...visa...though some can be done without me being physically around...but at least not the medical check up!

Arrgh.

Thurs was working day. I think i'm mad. cos' I　was pretty much left alone. But I asked for work to do.

Fri. Woke up for breakfast then went to sleep immediately. Woke up feeling like a Damned Fat Pig. Off to the SEP talk,(which was probably the highlight of the day)
had a nice chit-chat with some yr 1s...managed to convince them to go China...had lessons...which I　wasn't paying attention and understood nothing.

Then NCS briefing. Found out that apparently they sent the email to the wrong Shuhui previously...didn't ask them abt my status then, cos' what's impt is that I got it in the end. Understood the "seriousness" of this program, and it just enforced the fact that by hook or by crook i've got to settle every damn detail abt this Before I leave for Europe. Darn!

At night, went for this British Play called Rumours. Initially it was quite a torture trying to understand the accent. But it got better...and I started to Really enjoy the show despite it being a tit-bit too nonsensical and noisy at times...I managed to laugh heartily.

But I guess the "downfall" of my day was the "knowing" of my Financial midterm results.

I jokingly said this morning that I'll most probably score below the medium once again since i've done it twice.

Guess what? It really happened. 15 when the medium was 16.5. I felt So totally screwed.

I've been doing my homework faithfully. I've been getting A+s for my homework. But so what? I still didn't understand. Apparently I haven't studied hard enough. But there's a limit as to how much setbacks one can take.

At this rate, my CAP is gonna be 2 something this sem. When I think about it...I REALLY just wanna cry.

To think that I told my mum that i'm not getting involved in hall, I wanna study.

Bullshit. Look at where this so-called "studying" has brought me to. What have I been doing??? Actually I know. Watching an excessively lot of TV. Not really putting my heart into studying...AND thinking too highly of myself.

I　SUCK.

Everything sucks.

If my CAP does fall so low. I Dunno what I Will do.

I don't think I can take the blow.

There's a million things on my mind.

And my bad luck doesn't end there.

I was waiting for buses 80 and 63 at Bugis...ALL other buses came, twice or thrice...so I of cos' waited for a long long time.

Then I started to wait for 62 opp Aljunied MRT. I saw 2 80 and 63 pass by before 62 comes.

This is damn sucky lah.

Is this my retribution?

So what have I done wrong this time?

I hope the heavens are feeling better now. Spare me soon.

I can't take it anymore.

2004-10-06T18:17:00.000+08:00

You are purple. What a romantic person you are.
You're sentimental and forward-looking (those
are opposites.). You're a sophisticated and
refined--with a refind taste for chocolates and
wine (yum...). Tempermental and moody, you let
people know when you're angry. But other
times, you just sit and sulk. Alone. When
around people, you're a generous person, with
insatiable needs. You're a starving artist,
basically. You're enjoy getting into debates
over politics and religion with people of the
same intelligence of you. But you know they
can never convince you otherwise, you stubborn
person, you. As a unique person you are (not
to mention just a tad bit eccentric...), you're
well-liked by either a few people, or too many
people...

What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Though I hoped I'll be Pink...but I guess...not really...;P Purple suits me character not bad...

2004-10-05T16:59:00.000+08:00

Saddened

I guess when u're down and out...even watching tv can make u all the more upset.

I once thought i've lost all my principles. Haha...Yes I admit that I've came a long way. From the once innocent and naive girl where all was black and white, to the now all accepting "woman" in a world of grey.

Yeah I've changed.

I once cried when a friend of mine kissed a guy who's not her bf, but I now tell my friends that it's OKAY to have an affair so long as you know what you're doing and make sure that ur bf doesn't.

I used to think that I won't be able to accept tattoos and that I'll absolutely "disown" anyone I know who has one...but when I questioned my friend after I "spotted" one on her back, she uneasily told me and was surprised that I actually said that it was nice!

Many things have changed. My outlook towards life, relationships and various things.

Have been watching a few tv serials though, then I realised that my "hatred" for bad people haven't changed. Haha...I can't stand it when people scheme and plot to harm one another. For power or for love.

I also understand why there's a saying "zui du fu ren xin"...cos' it's true. What a woman CAN do to another over love...it's scary...

I hope i'll NEVER become like one of them. I rather be let down by others then to let other people down! I hope I can manage that.

Yes I've admit that I once hoped that I could Hate. I believe I've had mean thoughts too but now I really hope that if there's one thing I can be...I hope i'll be a "good" person.

Aiyah...suddenly realised how incoherent this entire entry is..but well, I just want to be nice...and I dun wanna see people hurt one another.

It sucks.

2004-10-05T16:24:00.000+08:00

Taiwan-Singapore Issue

http://www.straitstimes.com.sg/eyeoneastasia/story/0,4395,275254,00.html?

I must admit I'm never a very "politically-inclined" person. I dun keep myself updated of news and all...but today's lecturer posted us a question, "Why are Singaporeans so NOT angry?" It puzzles her as to how come we are so rationalised and calm about everything?

In contrast, other people always seem to be so angsty and full of hatred they have to resort to demonstations and violent behaviour.

This aroused my interests. Plus Ir posted an entry on her blog. So I took the effort to look through the relevant Straits Times article.

Honestly, I sympathise with Singapore. ALOT. And to some extent, I'm actually quite "proud" of how we choose to "react".

firstly, the "lack" of reaction might be due to the fact that, many people do not even know that such a thing happened! (like me) So...ok...that's a bad point about Singaporeans, not being concerned about current affairs.

2nd, though at one point of time when China was "upset" with Lee's private visit to Taiwan, I was initially sad that we had to so publicably "apologise" for something which we didn't do wrong.

But on hindsight. It's something we Have to do.

Singapore being such a small country, we really have to try to be friends with everyone. Which is really difficult...but yeah...

So this time round. I'm proud of Singaporeans don't actually think of retaliating and doing something drastic. What for? I think it'll only show our "lack of grace and maturity" if we do that. I think it shows that we are people who "think" before we act...we are able to access the situation and do what's best.

Da Zhang Fu Neng Qu Neng Shen, that's what I believe in.

BG Yeo merely stated a concern. It might have not been in a very appropriate occassion, it may seem that we're trying to "please"...but actually, I think he just voiced out a very "common-sensical" opinion.

Who wishes to see a war break out? Please raise your hands.

I for one do not.

I dun understand why some people like to quarrel and throw chairs in parliament seatings. I also can't understand why they have to choose such "uncouth" words to make "commoners" understand. Why do these ministers receive so much education for? By saying these...it seems to me that their "common" people can only understand things like "mucus" and what not.

Say we're small it's fine. As small as a pea, as small as a pin...I dunno...but...mucus???

Sigh.

2004-10-05T15:59:00.000+08:00

Am I stupid?

I really don't know.

I thought I've studied quite hard for my mid-terms.

QUITE. Maybe not for China's Economy, so I was below average. Fine. It's a good thing that I've "chose" the right person to pair up for the term paper! She's the German exchange girl who scored 90. 90!!!

Okay...just saw my econometrics results. 65/100...actually I wasn't too bothered leh. Until J told me that he overheard someone with 97, he scored a "mere" 81. Come to think of it...it's basically maths...so...I can imagine my grades to be in the D range now.

It makes me sad...REALLY sad. It is because I spent hours fiddling with my computer, and hours watching tv?

But haven't I been doing that ALL these while in Uni? I thought I studied hard enough and was prepared enough. What happened? And i did my tutorials rather faithfully as well!

What's wrong? Maybe I should take part in LOADS of activities and bog myself down again. Maybe...

2004-10-04T20:49:00.000+08:00

Actually...i'm not exactly feeling irritated...but i AM abit disgusted with myself...slightly.

My break of two days have gone too far...it's been like 10 days?!?!

I'm gross. Didn't study. Didn't revise my work. Didn't read my readings. Didn't do any catching up...

It's time for some SERIOUS soul searching.

Just saw my mid-term grades for Economy of Modern China. I knew that I did badly. But seeing it just hurts me more.

I scored an A+ for the level 2 one. Now i'm like the bottom 8 in a class of 20.

67/100...sucks. I'm feeling really down.

Maybe I should STOP the urge to spend HOURS searching for the best accomodation in Italy and START to do my work and to read.

Sat I finally changed my bed sheets! Was rather reluctant cos' someone helped me make this bed...it had certain memories...but well, nostalgia versus hygiene...I think I've made the right choice.

Sun Went out with my mum...to OG at Orchard Point FIRST then to OG at People's Park. WOW...what a shopping spree. Bought yellow top and Estee Lauder toner. Freaking ex...but it feels good on the skin. Best part was the dinner at Malan La Mian! Had a craving for Xiao Long Tang Bao! So...YEAH! got to eat it plus alot of other things! Being home is great...all the mooncakes, ice-cream and yeah...

Mon Went for a Yoga class and met this instructor that TOTALLY reminds me of Hong Ying. In terms of build, features and hair...wow...striking resemblance but not like I'll mistake her for Hong Ying...Came back to school to work. Spend some time looking at hostels in Barcelona too. Came back feeling REALLY distracted (I dunno y?) Almost got killed by a bus (cos' I was walking so slowly on the road and the bus had to stop in the middle to let me cross!) and yeah...I think what made me even more Bothered was the fact that someone told me that I've gotten fatter!

What a thing to say after not seeing me for weeks.

All right...so I'm fat. and maybe i'm getting fatter...I KNOW it...but dun have to tell me so outright right?!

Okay...perhaps it's good that she told me...I should be controlling my diet once again right?

But all I wanna do now is to eat more and more and more!

Arggh...what's wrong with me?

2004-10-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

FISH!

NOW I can truly say why I feel so screwed up. I tried editing the previous post. Added a hell lot of things...posted without first COPYING (one of the few times) and yeah...there was an error.

And right...all's lost!

I can't help but feel so angry!!!!

*34&^@*#64&@#88&^$23864@#

Sigh. It was all about how I feel about outer beauty, inner beauty and all that kind of shit lah.

Rambled about trying to be a better character...seems like it's not very useful YET.

ANYWAYS. Main idea is...Don't do "BAD" things...u'll be punished somehow or another. I'm a bad girl by the ways...always succumbing to all sorts of temptations. Maybe that's why my post is lost!

(*#4&(*729#$&&#@($932($(@#498#@(

2004-10-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

F*#@ed up

That was how I was feeling last night. And somehow...I've been using the F word abit too frequently lately.

It's my latest swear word when I feel everything's not going my way. But I only say it to myself, when there's nobody around. Still...I've noticed that it's gotten Louder...and yea..it just kind of "hits me" that wow...Bad habits sure are easy to pick up man.

All rights. Let me tell you why I was feeling that way.

Finally went back to Far East to work after so long. This Sat was rather extraordinary cos' we sold 3 pieces of a particular Expensive top and when I was handling the purchase of one of them...I wasn't alert enough to notice that the NETS didn't get through. My colleague was using the phone then...but I THOUGHT I saw the APPROVED word...so I was trying to be hopeful.

Then we did the settlement. Yes...as expected. We were short of $39.90.

$39.90!!! 4/5 of my one day's pay. And yes...I had to pay for that top...I basically WASTED an entire day...stood around for nothing...just to give a Total stranger a present!

ARGH FISH! @#$*(&#@$(*7 I guess minus my transport and my dinner money...I made $0.

And to think that I was just thinking to myself...how "brainless" this is getting...I stand around, smile at people...stone when there's no customers...and drink very little water (bad for health) and get my nails chipped!

So that's the REALLY bad thing that happened that made me super upset. Somemore I can't blame anyone for it cos' it's like my fault.

Still...I guess...on hindsight I should be glad it happened. Cos' I finally asked if I could quit. Stupid me...I still thought they needed me and all but I think they were more than happy to not have me around. Cos' they can cope with the existing employees.

True...they might get busy at times...but it's manageable.

So....HOORAY! I'm free on Sats now!! Time for my Sat morning and afternoon cartoons! Time to slack my whole Sat away lounging happily at home! Time to meet up with my friends and go for gatherings which usually take place on Sats!!

YEEEEH YEAH YEAH!

(I know that this post is weird. The ending doesn't really match the title...hmm...)

2004-10-02T09:15:00.000+08:00

Dodgeball!

Decided to blog before I leave for work and home for the weekend.

Last night was REALLY fun! A blk had out first movie screening cum IBG supper! Supper was tasty and Dodgeball....HILARIOUS. Haha..but it's hasically a very "adult" film I must say...what with all its's sexual connotations and all...but I guess the best part about watching movies in a private room (recre) with a whole big bunch of people you know...is the freedom to yell, scream, and laugh damn loudly without having to worry about disturbing others!!

I SO enjoyed myself last night!

Hope more of these will be upcoming and coming!

Hahaha...ought to snap out of my slack and lame mode and start studying already!!!

2004-10-01T08:21:00.000+08:00

Love: You are bubbly, kind, and pure. You
enjoy the company of friends and those close to
you, and are just a generally happy person.
Your main desire is for those you care about to
feel appreciated.

What emotional state are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wow...that's nice...=)

2004-10-01T02:43:00.000+08:00

CRAZY

I think i'm going nuts. Just spent the entire night looking out for Hostels...and I ended up with even more choices than I started out with!!!

Arrghs...and I thought I was supposed to be sieving them out and making choices! Haha...like real!!!

I'm dead tired...muscle aching from bad posture...and i haven't been studying nor reading or doing anything constructive!

I am starting to feel VERY guilty.

AND bad...cos' I think there's a high chance that I'll be dozing off like mad AGAIN during lectures tmr...

SIGH.

2004-09-30T21:45:00.000+08:00

Hmm...

Can't think of a suitable title so...haha...

My "dream" came true on Weds! Bwahaha...I kept thinkin...by helping out with the SEP talks at various faculties, I might have opportunities to see cute guys who are interested in going to China and be able to get to know them...

Guess what?!?! Haha...there were actually quite a number of guys from SDE interested in going there! AND...I was talking quite abit to a really cute one! I mean...he's tall, nice build...nice features...slightly muscular...polite...can speak fluently in both English and Chinese...WOW..haha...all rights...I must admit that I'm not like Horribly attracted to him lah...as in...he's more Aili's type or some other girls' dream guy maybe...cos' I tend to like guys with Big eyes or electrifying smiles...but this one's good enough! Haha...at least for me to try and be Hua Chi for a while! I gave him my hp number and email! BUT...problem is...I dun even know his name! haha...nevermind! If there's Yuan...our paths will cross again!

Met Siew Mai after that to go straight to Orchard! Haha...i'm terrible! Made her agree to go out with me...and she skipped her lecture too! Didn't mean for her to skip it but well...haha...We had fun shopping again! haha...brought her back to Zara, Mango...tried on MORE jackets...decided that I kind of looked okayly good in most...so in the end...I gave up trying to decide which one to get! Shall leave it to the discretion of my friends! Then I'll get a nice surprise too! =) Only sad thing is that the purple one at OG is gone...just realised that it's really cheap! $95 is like less than half the prices of other jackets that I've seen!

We also bought tickets to Seeing Other People! Haha...it's a novelty cos' it's the first R(A) movie I've watched on Big screen! Sad thing is the man didn't bother to check our ICs...=( sigh..shows that I LOOK the age! It's a funny show! Hmm...crappy at times maybe...but funny...had a sort of happy ending too! So it's not all that bad for $6.50..though I won't recommend it...can spend the money and time on something more worthwhile I guess.

Oh! Went for New Body classes at Amore Weds morning! Woo...I'm super unfit man! But it was a great workout! Haven't had such an intensive one for some time! Just came back not too long ago from Kickboxing...wow...dun know how much my muscles can take...haha...so quite slack in executing the moves...see how lah...

What a good life...go shopping, eating, dun have to worry about homework...

But I still think I should get down to doing some readings or something...lest I regret AGAIN when it's time to submit tutorials and stuff...haha...

Jia you Jia you!